After being sued by photographer Daniel Ramos for assault and battery at LAX last summer, Kanye West still finds himself in the midst of a nasty trial. Brace yourselves, because somehow, he has even more ridiculously absurd statements to make. And this time, they were under oath.
TMZ got a hold of the transcript of Kanye’s deposition and it was possibly even douchier than Justin Bieber’s earlier this year. We know Kanye thinks of himself as many of things: rapper, genius, father, and God, to name a few. But who knew he thought he was a certified attorney, too? Take a look at the quotes below and use your best judgement in choosing which ones were said by Kanye in his deposition. May the force be with you in deciding to take him seriously.
Quote: “When you look at me, you look at God.”
Answer: FAKE, even though he definitely thinks so.
Quote: “I’m in the business of trying to make dope s**t for the world.”
Answer: REAL, but we already knew this thanks to his other 8,439 rants.
When asked: “Where do you live?” His response: “Kanye’s brain, and that’s all that f***ing matters.”
Answer: FAKE. His real reply? “Earth,” because that answer is so much better.
Quote: “I’m the smartest celebrity you’ve ever f***ing dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears.”
Answer: REAL. Now why did you have to go and diss Britney?
Quote: “I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ’Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also.”
Answer: REAL, because the two scenarios are so alike.
Quote: “You don’t understand the life of a celebrity. This is the new Civil War and I’m the leader.”
Answer: FAKE. We’re actually afraid this will give him a new idea.
Quote: “The Constitution gives me the right to pursue happiness so ya’ll can f*** off.”
Answer: FAKE, but Kanye basically wrote the Constitution because he’s God, right?
To lawyer Nate Goldberg: “You’re in the business of representing scums and trying to make as much money as long as there’s this lapse in the law.”
Answer: REAL. Throwing in “scums” in place of a curse word. Props for diversity, Yeezy.
Quote: “You have to ask for a hall pass. You can’t just say the ’n’ word around me.”
Answer: REAL, and now Kanye’s a school teacher.
Quote: “They just take pictures of me, ’cus they wanna be me. They wanna be Kanye.”
Answer: FAKE, but we’re shocked he hasn’t tried this justification yet. Unless he has…
Quote: “I equate it to discrimination. I equate it to inequalities.”
Answer: REAL. Again, because paparazzi versus celebrities and the Civil War are basically the same thing.
Quote: “I’m the law, bitch.”
Answer: FAKE. We almost wish he said this. Straight and to the point.
Quote: “You should be happy I punched him. Like, I’m doing this city a service. One day you’ll understand.”
Answer: FAKE, because Kanye is God and God can do no wrong, ever.
Quote: “Those law books didn’t teach you s**t. I’m the one runnin’ s**t.”
Answer: FAKE, even though Yeezy thinks he’s saving the world one punch at a time.
Quote: “We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this.”
Answer: REAL. You let us know how that goes for you, Kanye.
[Photo Credit: Getty/Splash News]