The time has come to stuff your stockings with Christmas rock n’ roll songs that you might actually listen to, 12 of them to be exact, one for each night of the holiday. Many an aspiring rocker has been gifted with electric guitars over the years and they could do a lot worse to break in their new axe with one of these numbers from the biggest names in punk, metal and classic rock. So whether you celebrate Hanukkah or warm yourself by the Yule Log, pour yourself a glass of Eggnog (nah, trust me, it’s good stuff) and crank up 12 Christmas songs that actually rock.
Alice Cooper “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”
The godfather of shock rock gets some help from John 5 and rips to shred every kid’s favorite Christmas carol.
The Ramones “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)”
The bruddas belt one out with all the heart of a Salvation Army singalong and it rocks so hard you’ll be asking Mom and Dad for a new leather jacket this holiday.
Keith Richards “Run Rudolph Run”
The Rolling Stones’ Human Riff delivers perhaps the ultimate version of this Chuck Berry Christmas classic (though the Lemmy-Billy Gibbons-Dave Grohl version is pretty good too).
The Who “Christmas”
Not a Christmas carol song per se, but one that shares it’s title with the holiday, the guitars and drums crash all about on this number from the legendary classic rock band’s rock opera Tommy.
AC/DC “Mistress for Christmas”
Of course the bad boys of boogie rock figure out a way to make Christmas salacious. And of course this song rocks harder than a broken set of jingle bells.
Slade “Merry Christmas, Everybody”
This beloved British glam rock institution had a hit with this 1973 original celebrating all things Christmas.
The Kinks “Father Christmas”
Always the sardonic ones, Ray Davies and crew sing a holiday song about a department store Santa that gets beat up by a gang of kids who want money instead of toys.
The Greedies “A Merry Jingle”
Christmas sure was good the year members of hard rockers Thin Lizzy and seminal punk rockers The Sex Pistols got together to record this crunchy classic.
The Devil Dogs “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day”
’90s NYC garage punkers cover this holiday song by esteemed British glam rockers Wizzard, who had a massive UK hit with the it in the early ’70s.
Alan Milman Sect “Punk Rock Christmas
These NYC punkers might never have become household names however they did issue one of the greatest songs of the punk rock Christmas song sub-variety.
Elvis Presley “Santa Claus Is Back In Town” & “Blue Christmas”
It all ends with The King. What could be cooler than Elvis hanging with the boys and tossing off a couple Christmas songs to the rapturous reception of a room full of broads. Answer: none more cooler.
Girlschool “Auld Lang Syne”
OK, technically it’s a New Year’s Eve, not a Christmas song, but the two holidays do go hand in hand and this will give you a head’s start in finding New Year’s Eve songs that actually rock, so quit your bellyachin’.