Classic Rock Kama Sutra: 18 Songs That Taught Us Everything We Needed To Know About Sex
Sex. Rock n’ roll bands have been singing about it since the beginning, when the term “rocking and rolling” was an actual euphemism for the act of, in Shakespeare’s words, “making the beast with two backs.” There’s no shortage of classic rock songs specifically about having sex, from Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” to AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” (actually there are very few Led Zeppelin or AC/DC songs that aren’t specifically about having sex). Without getting too graphic however, there are many different ways one can have sex besides the good old fashioned way we all know and love. Rock n’ roll being an innately rebellious form of musical expression has never shied away from talking about these…alternate means of getting one’s rocks off, as The Rolling Stones might say. And fans have thrilled for years to the more risqué songs in the classic rock canon. One might even say they’re educational as the usual discussion of “The birds and the bees” seldom covers the same sexual ground as your average Kiss or Lou Reed song, if you know what I’m saying. In order to make things easy for you, we’ve broken them down into different erotic topics so check out 18 classic rock anthems that taught us there was more than one way to have fun in the bedroom.
Led Zeppelin “Candy Store Rock”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Oh baby, baby, sugar sister on a silver plate
Oh baby, baby, I need a mouthful and I just can’t wait
Oh baby, baby, see the shaking in my hand
Oh baby, baby, don’t mean to fumble but it tastes so grand
Tastes so grand, tastes so grand, baby it’s alright
Motley Crue “She Goes Down”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Sassy little lassie
Walking right past me
Down in Tennessee
Always a lady
I love Southern ladies
They just know how to please
It’s like connecting the dots
Start at the bottom, lick it to the top
AC/DC “Go Down”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Mary, Mary you’re the one for me
And the way you hum
Sting me like a bumble bee
I’ll be round to see you ’bout
‘Bout half past ten
Ain’t felt this good
Since I don’t know when
You got the touch that I need so much
In your finger tips
I got the honey that ya love to taste
On those lovely lips
Kiss “Nothin’ To Lose”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Before I had a baby
I didn’t care anyway
I thought about the back door
I didn’t know what to say
But once I got a baby
I tried every way
She didn’t want to do it
But she did anyway
Deep Purple “Knockin’ At Your Back Door”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Sweet Nancy was so fancy
To get into her pants
We had to be the aristocracy
The members that she toyed with
At her city club
Were something in diplomacy
So we put her on the hit list
Of a common cunning linguist
A master of many tongues
And now she eases gently
From her Austin to her Bentley
Suddenly she feels so young
The Doors “Back Door Man”
Most Revealing Lyric:
You men eat your dinner
Eat your pork and beans
I eat more chicken any man ever seen, yeah, yeah
I’m a back door man
The men don’t know
But the little girl understand
The Kinks “Lola”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Well I’m not the world’s most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lou Reed “Walk On The Wilde Side”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Holly came from Miami, F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A.
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey, babe,
Take a walk on the wild side
The Who “I’m A Boy”
Most Revealing Lyric:
My name is Bill, and I’m a head case
They practice making up on my face
Yeah, I feel lucky if I get trousers to wear
Spend evenings taking hairpins from my hair
Alice Cooper “Muscle of Love”
Most Revealing Lyric:
I read Dad’s books like I did before,
Now things are crystal clear.
Lock the door in the bathroom now,
I just can’t get caught in here.
Billy Squier “The Stroke”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Don’t take no rhythm,
Don’t take no style
Gotta thirst for killin’,
Grab your vial and…
Put your right hand out, give a firm handshake
Talk to me about that one big break
Led Zeppelin “The Lemon Song”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg
The way you squeeze my lemon, I’m gonna fall right out of bed
The Rolling Stones “Stray Cat Blues”
Most Revealing Lyric:
You say you got a friend, that she’s wilder than you
Why don’t you bring her upstairs
If she’s so wild then she can join in too
It’s no hanging matter
It’s no capital crime
Steely Dan “Babylon Sisters”
Most Revealing Lyric:
We’ll jog with show folk on the sand
Drink kirschwasser from a shell
San Francisco Show and Tell
Well I should know by now that it’s just a spasm
Like a Sunday in T.J.
That it’s cheap but it’s not free
That I’m not what I used to be
And that love’s not a game for three
Grand Funk Railroad “We’re An American Band”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Four young chiquitas in Omaha
Waitin’ for the band to return from the show
Feelin’ good, feelin’ right, it’s Saturday night
The hotel detective, he was outta sight
Now these fine ladies, they had a plan
They was out to meet the boys in the band
They said, “Come on dudes, let’s get it on”
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down
Kiss “Sweet Pain”
Most Revealing Lyric:
My leathers fit tight around me
My whip is always beside me
You want the same thing every day
I’ll teach you love a different way
You’ll learn to love me and my sweet pain
The Velvet Underground “Venus In Furs”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
Shiny leather in the dark
Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart
Van Halen “House Of Pain”
Most Revealing Lyric:
Say you’re gonna leave me
‘Cause I only tie you up
I always loved you tender
But you only like it rough
Woman bound for glory
Why you’re leavin’ me again?
Gonna pack your bags
And leave this house of pain