Dear Celebrities, Please Stop Getting Naked on Instagram

CC: Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Tyson Beckford, and more.

“If you didn’t ’gram it, it didn’t happen.” This is just one of the justifications people give for posting selfies, food porn, Dubsmash videos, and basically anything else on Instagram. Lately, it seems like more and more people are getting naked on the ’gram—especially celebrities. If you’re like me, this is how you feel about it:

Last week, Kim Kardashian posted a pregnant naked mirror selfie. She was trying to get people to shut the hell up about how her body looks while carrying her second child, and though I thought her attempt was ultimately successful, I wonder if she would have been just as effective in getting her point across had she done it fully clothed. Later in the week, Christina Aguilera got nearly naked on the ’gram. She almost showed her boobies to her followers, but unlike Kim’s post, Xtina’s didn’t have a clear message attached. Christina, if you’re reading this, please inform.

Miley Cyrus, Aubrey O’Day, and Rihanna are all offenders of the nakedgram, but it’s not just women who are guilty. Ocean-trolling Justin Bieber posted a picture of his undraped self staring off into the distance at Lord knows what. I’d say B.o.B.’s #EggplantFriday counts, too. Snapchat wizard Tyson Beckford, a.k.a. Thirst Trap Tyson, regularly comes through with borderline NSFW posts like the following. Your eyes are essentially in his pants by the end of the video.
Naked Instagrams are nothing new. More likely than not, people have been exposing themselves on Insta since its launch. Why? For the likes. Follows. Instafame. What more could you want from Instagram?

I’ll admit to posting a bikini pic or two at the risk of being called an Instathot, but naked? Nah. I can’t even send nudies on Snapchat, and that’s essentially what the app is for. I try to have an open mind when I’m on Instagram, and I truly do appreciate people like Kylie Jenner, who are confident enough in their looks to really put themselves—and I mean all of themselves—out there.

But enough’s enough. The naked and nearly naked pictures need to stop.

I’m all for people celebrating their bodies. Love your body in whatever way you want, but do you have to do it via a naked Instagram? Furthermore, if you feel like you need to nakedgram in order to prove a point, is the point really worth proving to begin with? A picture might be worth a thousand words, but then why do we have caption fields?

Dear celebrities, please stop getting naked on Instagram. I can’t scroll through my timeline without accidentally seeing someone’s sideboob, underboob, or whole boob. I can’t even make it to The Shade Room before accidentally ending up down someone’s pants. I constantly feel like a creep. It’s exhausting.

Anyway, just give it some consideration. And if anything, remember this: It’s Instagram. Not PornHub.

1/2 Cartoon, 1/2 Beyhive.