The Best Moments and Revelations from Lifetime’s The Unauthorized Full House Story

Mullets, lawyer drama, fart jokes, and more!

By Colleen Thornhill

In The Unauthorized Full House Story, Lifetime’s movie about the ABC sitcom that ruled the boob tube from 1987 to 1995, the network delivered everything we’ve come to expect from a modern Lifetime movie: melodramatic acting, awkward miscasting, and even an unfortunate array of wigs. Meaning that it was basically the highlight of anyone’s Saturday night. In case you missed the magic, we’ve recapped the best moments—and biggest revelations—below.

  1. Full House was made up on the spot.

    Lifetime

    If we are to believe this movie (and why not, what’s “unauthorized” but a word?), then we are to believe that Full House was made up by the series producer, Jeff Franklin, during the span of just a few seconds during a meeting with ABC executives. Jeff originally pitched a show called House of Comics about three single comics living together, but quickly added the kids after the executive said they were going in a more family-focused direction. His fast thinking earned him praise like, “He’s not just a hairdo!” This is one of the first great lines with which the film gifts us.

  2. Uncle Jesse was going to be Uncle Adam.

    Lifetime

    Over lunch with Jeff the producer, a young (and heavily mulleted) John Stamos suggests his character should get a name change. He tells a story about Elvis Presley’s deceased twin Jesse, explaining, “That’s who this character is, not Uncle Adam, but Uncle Jesse.” Ah, yes, the Full House uncle is most certainly the ghost of Elvis’ dead twin and Jeff readily nods in agreement that this is a novel idea. This is where you stop questioning things and just go with it because it’s a Lifetime movie.

  3. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were really advanced 9-month-olds.

    Lifetime

    Any true Full House fan knows Mary Kate and Ashley were only 9 months old when they were cast in the show. Yet the twins in this film who are discovered by producer Jeff can talk and walk and are more like 2-year-old toddlers. I knew Mary Kate and Ashley were good, but I didn’t know they were that good.

  4. Tyler Posey’s dad was the original Danny.

    Lifetime

    I thought I was a pretty solid Full House fan, but I never knew Bob Saget wasn’t the original Danny. Who was? Tyler Posey’s dad! (Yes, that Tyler Posey of Teen Wolf fame.) Poor Posey just didn’t match the flow of the show, so the producers sought out Bob, who reluctantly agreed to join since he was out of a job.

  5. 5) Full House: The Story of Three Gay Men Living Together in San Francisco

    Lifetime

    Once Bob finally joins the show, he tells an unsuspecting John Stamos he wanted to be on Full House because it’s a progressive look at the life of three gay men living in San Francisco. John replies, confused and semi-frightened, “My agent said nothing about this particular story arc.” The sarcasm is totally lost on John, and I sort of hope this exchange happened in real life. I can imagine no better introduction between the two men.

  6. 6) Dave Coulier is the Full House savior.

    Lifetime

    When Bob says he wants out of the show, Dave is able to cool him down and convince him to stay. And when Mary Kate and Ashley’s mom mentions she might pull the girls from the show because it’s too stressful, Dave offers to talk to the producers on her behalf to get her more help. If he was so nice, then why does Alanis Morissette hate him so much?

  7. 7) It’s not a party unless Wang Chung plays.

    People/Lifetime

    The best part of The Unauthorized Full House Story was this sensational ’80s moment. When the show finally becomes a hit, Lifetime blesses us with an ’80s throwback we could all use a little more of: “Everybody Have Fun Tonight,” by Wang Chung. From Bob Saget being buried with fan mail to John Stamos being mauled by fans, I think the scene really captured the essence of late ’80s TV star fame.

  8. 8) The Olsen Twins had a badass lawyer.

    Lifetime

    When you’re not even 7 years old and you already have a lawyer renegotiating your television contract, you’re probably set for life. In this intensely dramatic scene, Jeff the producer asks, “What kind of renegotiation?” The lawyer replies, “Double!” with a sinister look in his eyes. It’s practically worthy of an Emmy nomination.

  9. 9) A mullet is a classic look for every season.

    Lifetime

    Remember Season 2, Episode 1, “Cutting It Close”? Stephanie accidentally cuts Uncle Jesse’s hair too short and the mullet is lost from us forever. Well, that episode never happened in this version of the Full House story. In this version, Uncle Jesse has his mullet well into the late ’90s. At first I thought, “Maybe two wigs were too expensive?” but his hair is cropped short by the film’s end. Bringing out a second wig in the last 10 minutes was just too little too late by that point, sadly.

  10. 10) These actors cheesed as hard in real life as they did on the show.

    Lifetime

    If you thought living room band performances were just a weird trait of the Tanner house, you were wrong. We get not one but two concerts by John Stamos and his band in a very convenient spot, the conference room, during this film. The whole gang joins in on the fun, from Lori Loughlin all the way down to the Olsen twins. A rendition of “Celebration” has never sounded so good.

  11. 11) Dave Coulier’s super power was flatulence.

    Lifetime

    Stamos had looks, Saget had raunchy humor, and Coulier had…gas jokes? It’s what this film would have us believe. He squeezes one out every chance he gets. That was a detail from the Full House world I didn’t need to know.

  12. 12) Basic details aren’t important.

    Lifetime

    The Full House home is instantly recognizable to even the casual viewer: front door and living room to the left, kitchen and back door to the right. But what are details in an unauthorized made-for-TV movie? Lifetime pulled a switch and reversed the set-up of the house. Seeing the kitchen on the left was almost more uncomfortable than Coulier’s gas issues. Oh and DJ’s prom dress was gold, costume designers, not black. That mistake is hard to forgive.

  13. 13) Weddings trump drug troubles.

    Lifetime

    You’d think an unauthorized film would focus on all the scandals surrounding a hit show, but this movie kept things tame. Beyond occasionally showing a young Jodie Sweetin feeling left out or overly attached to her TV sis Candace Cameron, there’s no mention of Sweetin’s well-documented drug troubles. The only post-Full House follow-up we get is Candace’s wedding to hockey player Valeri Bure, where Dave makes a toast with, you guessed it, some rear end sound effects.

  14. 14) This was actually The Unauthorized Bob Saget Story.

    Lifetime

    Despite the film’s title, the main focus of The Unauthorized Full House Story was Bob Saget, who the writers took extra pains to portray in a less than favorable light, as often as possible. His marital problems, career struggles, and set antics take precedence over everyone else’s story lines, meaning less time on the John Stamos-Lori Loughlin forbidden romance, which is really the movie we all wanted to see.