Well, the sixth season of True Blood premiered last night, and as usual, we were left scratching our heads. Is Billith a monster or a really sweet dad? Are werewolves the worst? What’s up with Andy Bellefluer’s offspring? How come we get to see all these ladies full frontal, but Alcide is so tastefully covered? Here, to recap all of the crazy, pantsless glory of the episode, we present to you the 5 most WTF moments of the night. (And for the stars’ memories of their most WTF scenes, watch the video above!)
1. Billith nearly rips out Jessica’s heart, remotely. At the time, we thought it was incredibly cruel of Bill to do this to his only child. But after seeing the whole episode, we suspect it’s just that he doesn’t know his own power yet. But yeah, that bulging heart effect was gruesome.
2. Alcide eats J.D.’s arm. So that’s really how one becomes pack master? And wouldn’t it have been a little more palatable if he’d turned into a wolf before chowing down? Ew, we imagine J.D. tasted like grease and bitterness too.
3. Sookie stakes Bill to save Eric. Aha! She really does love Eric best! But, damn, girl. That was fast, impulsive, and kinda dumb. You just saw this guy rise from the dead. What makes you think a little wooden stake is gonna harm him?
4. Hi, Daddy! We nearly fell asleep during Arlene and Andy’s heart-to-heart about parenting. But this story redeemed itself with the girls’ rapid growth and super creepy midnight surprise. But they’re so cute!
5. Deep breaths, Bill. Wha? If Bill is already part of Lillith, why would he need to inhale multiple versions of her, Lafayette-style? And does this mean that he’s about to drop the sweet dad act and go on a killing rampage? Chills!