Supreme Court Shoots Down DOMA: 5 Other Obvious Things We Don’t Need The Court To Rule On

Today the Supreme Court of the United States finally ruled that DOMA is illegal, which basically means same sex spouses are entitled to federal benefits. (They were a little more wishy-washy on California’s Prop 8, deciding that proponents of the gay marriage ban can’t appeal the federal district court’s ruling that struck down the law.) While there are many pressing matters that we need the Supreme Court to rule on, gay marriage most certainly is not one of them. Hear us out on this: It doesn’t take a team of experts for us to know that when two adults love each other and want to spend their lives together, it’s not only perfectly fine, it’s awesome–and YES, they deserve spousal benefits.

For some reason, people keep taking forever to prove points that should be obvious to just about everyone. Here are five obvious things that we don’t need a panel of experts to understand.

For instance, I don’t think we need the Supreme Court to tell us that Kate Upton has amazing boobs.

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That said, did you know that Vogue spent about four pages of copy intellectualizing Kate Upton’s rise to fame as a supermodel? It’s because she has great boobs! Or that people are still trying to prove that Scientology is a cult for crazy people? Or that scientific research has been done explaining why Adele songs make you sad?

It’s enough to make you wonder if these so-called “Supreme Court Justices” aren’t actually a bunch of dummies.

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