True Blood, WTF: 5 Painful Moments From ‘F— The Pain Away’

It was not a good time for parent-child relationships on last night’s True Blood. From Jessica being so high on fairy blood she wanted to make out with her dad to the ghost of Sookie’s father trying to drown her all over again, to the LAVTF pitting Eric and Pam against each other, it looked like everyone would have been better off orphaned and childless. Even Alcide and his dad, in this draggiest of werewolf storylines, had a sad, petty fight. Oh, but there was just a little bit of sexy going on — no, not just the terrible screwing for science in the vampire camp, but also some good old-fashioned Jason booty. Thank you, True Blood! Here are the episode’s rather tragic WTF moments:

Oof, so Corbett and Michelle Stackhouse were worse people than we ever imagined, and Warlow is a good guy? But I have one thing to nitpick about the second time Sookie’s dad tried to drown her, in the name of not letting her become a vampire: “Baby girl, sometimes parents do things that don’t make sense to they kids” sounds way more like Lafayette’s grammar than Corbett’s. Nelsan Ellis slip-up or hint of Lafayette’s wish to be free of Sookie’s drama?

Yes, I am more tired of this storyline about Terry’s guilt than I am of the werewolves vs. Sam thing, but that doesn’t mean I want to see the guy kill himself via Marine Corp assassin! Think about your kids, Terry!

And in other Bellefleur news, this is exactly what I didn’t want happening. Andy does not work as a tragic character. Bring all his daughters back to life so he can be funny again!

The real WTF of vampire camp was how easily Pam let herself be manipulated into betraying her kind. But, yeah, the whole Nazi torture/gladiator thing going on here is seriously disturbing.

And last, but not least, why are vampire shows so, so bad at acquiring good wigs for men? Warlow’s prehistoric hair is Vampire Diaries Originals-level awful. He should be thanking Bill/Lilith for letting him live until the invention of scissors. Aside: Is Niall his son? Does that mean Sookie is Warlow’s great granddaughter? Ewwww.

[Photos: HBO]