True Blood WTF: As Subtle As A Stiletto To The Head

We’re on the home stretch of Season 6, so naturally, True Blood’s writers are focusing in on the action and not wasting screen time on things like details of funeral arrangements and what Arlene needs to eat for breakfast. Oh, wait. In the interest of plot development, “Dead Meat” did have a surreally bad chase sequence — Ms. Suzuki R.I.P. — and a soapy pregnancy surprise. Let’s get to the WTF-ery of it all…

1. Warlow, how you’ve changed.
I forgot that Warlow was once a really, really scary, ugly vampire from another dimension, not a handsome fairy tied to a tree pining after Sookie, didn’t you? Thanks, writers, for the flashback to that creepy bathroom visitation and also for Sookie’s voicemail to Jason, in which she finally wonders, “Have you seen Niall?” She’s had a lot on her mind, I guess. And also, only two weeks have passed in this entire season!

2. Oh, wait, now we are worried for Warlow?
He looks pretty hot, all martyred like that. (God, True Blood, how you’ve warped me.) Mostly, my WTF question here is whether Eric is going rogue hero or just getting back at Bill for his god complex.

3. The Sam Sniff
Hey, Sam, remember Luna? And Emma? Nope, that grief sex he and Nicole had seems to have done the trick in wiping his dog brain clean. And then we learn that shifters can sniff out pregnancy within days of conception, so it’s all, “I love you forever.” Gross.

4. Jason’s Newest Sticky Situation
Whenever the plot gets too … too, you can always count on a good Jason story to brighten things up. Today’s distraction: obsessive Catholic vamp Violet! One nitpick: If she’s as old and medieval as she says, you’d think she’d have learned how to talk around those fangs of hers.

5. Sarah Newlin, this is not how to help fellow female entrepreneurs.
Is it me, or did the scene in which Sarah chased Tru Blood exec Ms. Suzuki around the Vamp Camp seem clipped from some awful horror movie spoof — One last desperate text! All the doors are locked! And then she Single White Femaled her in the head! I wonder if this was what gave Anna Camp the concussion she mentions in the interview above, or if there’s even more crazy to come. Probably the latter. Two more episodes to go!

[Photos: HBO]