Remember how at the end of summer camp, you had friends you knew you’d K.I.T. with forever, but then weeks later, school would start and you forgot them? We really, really hope that’s the case with some of the big celebrity stories we’ve been following this summer. If we never read another story in which Alec Baldwin wrestles with a photographer or a Teen Mom tangles with James Deen, we’ll be very happy indeed. But after looking back at the stories we know we will remember about the Summer of ’13, we thought it only right that we relive these one LAST time:
10. People Shocked and Outraged About Ben Affleck as Batman
OK, we know comic book fans are a passionate bunch, but we were a little taken aback by their reaction to news the Oscar winner would put on the batsuit for the upcoming Superman/Batman movie. We like Josh Gad’s take on this. Here’s hoping the Batfleck Backlash (Batflash?) is over and done by now.
Still have the text Perez sent me of me in a wheelchair w the words KARMA written across + Madonna pointing a gun at me. Day of my accident
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) August 16, 2013
9. The Lady Gaga vs. Perez Hilton Feud
Being friends with a gossip columnist must be a tenuous bargain. As is being friends with a pop star who dabbles in performance art. When Perez trashed Gaga’s new song, and she retaliated by calling him a stalker, we were amused for a minute. Now the drama is old, though, so we want them to go back to being friends.
8. Farrah Abraham and Her Backdoor Career
We thought Teen Mom was supposed to be a cautionary tale about how hard it is for young people to take on adult responsibilities. Not a launching pad for young people to take on adult film careers.
We get it, grown up male critics and some Comic Con geeks, you are not Twilight fans. But that doesn’t mean you have to denigrate everything else that stars a young woman and has a supernatural element.
6. Beyonce Bump Watch
We are as guilty as everyone else for getting super excited about the possibility of a little brother or sister for Blue Ivy. But we know Bey’s suffered a miscarriage before, so if she has to cancel some shows for health reasons, let’s maybe back off next time. We’ll know about a Babyonce when it’s time for us to know.
5. Racists on Big Brother
We liked this story when it was Kevin and Julie on The Real World, season 1. But in this day and age, spewing racist, homophobic slangs on a reality show isn’t just ignorant, it’s blatantly trying to get famous by showcasing your ignorance. And CBS, you’re not really participating in a “social experiment” anymore; you’re grabbing for ratings. Look away, people.
4. All Post-Baby Body Stories
Three of us here at VH1 just had babies this spring, and we are not amused by the media’s obsession with Kim Kardashian, Kate Middleton and all other famous new moms losing their baby weight. Our own Kate Spencer says it best here. How about we talk about the actually important things about being a mother?
We love Robin Thicke. We love Kanye West. We hate misogyny and anything that intentionally or unintentionally encourages sexual assault. And we really wish we wouldn’t have to have this conversation anytime a sexy song comes out. So, male artists of the world, how about you stop to think about your present or future daughters and wives for a quick sec the next time you write songs, K?
2. Violent Paparazzi Run-ins
We hope any photographers following Alec Baldwin, Kanye West or Justin Bieber are earning extra hazard pay these days. Actually, when you look at the photos and videos taken during these stars’ confrontations with paps, you can sympathize with both sides of the story. Maybe it’s time to go back to using telephoto lenses, guys.
1. Paris Jackson and Amanda Bynes Hospitalized
Get well soon, ladies! It’s a scary world out there, but we need you both in it.
[Photo: Splash News Online, Getty Images, In Touch, Twitter]