Listen up, famous people, we know fame and fortune can’t buy happiness, but we kinda count on you to be leading the good life so we can live it up through you. So when you start looking like you’re doing just the opposite, it hurts us too (you know, after we eat up all the headlines about your downfall). In the past week, two of our favorite leading men — Jason Segel and Jake Gyllenhaal — former porn star turned writer Jenna Jameson, rapper/comedian Donald Glover and a few others have us worried for them. Are they getting high or getting into character? Expressing themselves or calling for help? Let’s look a little more closely, shall we?
1. Donald Glover
Our worries started last week, when the Community cutie known as Childish Gambino took to Instagram to share his innermost thoughts. “I feel like I’m letting everyone down. I’m afraid people hate who I really am. I’m afraid I hate who I really am,” he wrote on hotel stationary. “I didn’t leave Community to rap. I don’t want to rap. I wanted to be on my own. I’ve been sick this year. I’ve seen a bunch of people die this year. This is the first time I’ve felt helpless.” And the world collectively wanted to give him a hug. Was it a cry for help? No, he says he was just having a bad day. “I just wanted to write down my feelings. I definitely was just expressing myself,” he told People. OK, Donald, but we’re keeping our eye on you just in case.
2. Jason Segel
The paparazzi snapped Jason walking around Boston looking like a mere shadow of his beloved awkdorkable self last week. He has said that he trimmed down for the movie he’s shooting, Sex Tape, with Cameron Diaz. We understand wanting to look good on camera, but unless this is Dallas Buyers Club 2, please don’t lose a pound more!
3. Jake Gyllenhaal
We saw Jake up close at the Hollywood Film Awards on Monday night and this photo hardly does justice to the gauntness of his face. He whittled himself down to this skeletal state for the movie Nightcrawler, in which he plays an L.A. crime reporter who is “literally and figuratively hungry,” he told Us. C’mon, guys, they have makeup and special effects — not to mention, you know, acting — for this stuff. It’s not healthy!
Next, who’s been imitating the Kings of Leon and Kristen Stewart?
5. The Jonas Brothers
The brothers just canceled their tour, two days before it was set to launch, and their rep openly told People that it was due to “a deep rift within the band.” Joe Jonas was just as frank on Twitter, “Please hold while we get our s— together,” he wrote on Tuesday. If they’re not even hiding the fact that they’re fighting, could that mean they’re hiding something else? Hard to imagine the squeaky clean boys having any deeper issues, but also, it wouldn’t be unheard of. Boys, we do NOT want to be reading headlines about one of you ending up in rehab, OK?
6. Katharine McPhee
The married American Idol alumna was just snapped making out with her Smash director Michael Morris — who is also married to actress Mary McCormack, with whom he has three young children. Is this situation reeking of Kristen Stewart/Rupert Sanders to anyone else? TMZ says Katharine and her husband Nick Cokas have been separated for six months. But yeah, don’t be making out with your former boss in broad daylight, girl. You’re talented enough to make better headlines than this.
7. Jenna Jameson
First of all, these Good Day NY hosts are a wee bit condescending to Jenna Jameson when asking her these super simple questions about being a porn star. But it’s a little bit horrifying that you can almost see the wheels turning in her head as she tries to answer them. Is it the fact that her face has been frozen by surgery? This interview is giving us major Paula Abdul flashbacks, so our first guess is painkillers. She says she was just tired.
You know who else is looking “tired”…
8. Lamar Odom
TMZ’s camera guy Was it a low blow for to ask why Lamar wasn’t at Kanye West’s big proposal to his sister-in-law? Maybe. But the troubled NBA free agent, who reportedly checked himself into rehab for drugs for maybe a second following a DUI last month, is looking mighty skinny. He showed off his wedding ring and said he was too busy for Kanye’s big stunt. Uh-huh.
9. Lindsay Lohan
Oh, LiLo. She simply does not know how to lie low. A karaoke outing in New York City Tuesday night ended in her calling the police following a fight with the owners over staying past closing time. Onlookers said she was chain smoking but NOT drinking the bottle of Jameson her pals bought. But does she have the will power to keep up the “good” behavior when surrounded by drunk friends who insist you hear their rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” ONE MORE TIME? Maybe if Oprah is sitting there next to her. We’re almost all out of worry for Lindsay, but somehow, we keep thinking she’ll get this right.
10. We’re leaving this one blank. Hopefully in the next few days no one steps up to fill it!
[Photos: Getty Images, Splash News Online, Instagram]