Remember When Kim Kardashian Was on MTV Cribs?

"We still like to have a little bit of fun in the bedroom, that's why I have a stripper pole," says the former assistant to Paris Hilton.

Once upon a time, a little show called MTV Cribs featured a guest named Kim Kardashian. Known as Paris Hilton’s sidekick and a Hollywood socialite, she showed us things like her “tricked out” cars and Louis Vuitton collection, all in a velour zip-up. We miss you, 2000s.

It’s hard to imagine a time before Kimye’s matching outfits or North West was dominating the fashion scene in diapers. But when Kim shows you the Kardashian-Jenner family’s prior home (a 5,000 sq ft, four bedroom, five bathroom house in Los Angeles), it’ll all start coming back. Here is what made Kim’s Cribs appearance so… Kim.

  • Her model/actress ID

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    Shout out to that red velour.

  • The kitchen

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    Where they chilled HARD.

  • Hey, Khloe.

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    Not having any of Kim’s crap since the beginning of time.

  • “I’m a baker.”

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    Kim loves anything with sprinkles, FYI.

  • This goddamn immaculate fridge

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    “This is how it is at all times,” Kim said. “I’m psycho.”

  • The part where she explains who her dad Robert was.

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    Think, Kim, think!!!

  • This throwback pic

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    Seriously, WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!

  • Bruiser’s killer room

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    “If you don’t have a gold medal, you’re not doin’ it,” Kim explains.

  • Kourtney and Khloe being Kourtney and Khloe.

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    Kim, you just keep talking while we watch these two be awesome.

  • A chandellier with a crown on the top

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    “Because, you know, I’m a princess.”

  • A massive pic of her four-year-old self.

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    “Everyone needs a shrine of themselves,” she says. Little did we know this was only a preview of what was to come.

  • Annnnd the stripper pole

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    “We still like to have a little bit of fun in the bedroom,” Kim says. We’re assuming she’s referring to ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush. And she only used this to workout, guys…

  • Then this happened

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  • And this

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    Does it make her feel awkward that her four-year-old self is staring at her while she rides the pole?

  • Kim is all about her Louis Vuitton

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    “I am such a Louis Vuitton fan.” She told us about the special green and pink edition purses, and she obviously had both.

  • And all about her clothes, obv.

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    “You can’t really wear anything more than once.” Noted!

  • Kim loves catching up on some light reading… about herself.

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    “There’s nothing better to do on a Sunday than sit and read about yourself,” she says. Yes, it’s so relaxing.

  • Behold, Kim’s “tricked out” cars

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    She was killing the license plate game before emojis even existed.

  • Here’s her special automobile business venture

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    “My own rim line comes out in the summer.”

  • And her’s the two-story doll house godmother Kathy Lee Gifford sent.

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    Where she and her little sisters “[played] house.”

If you want to watch all of the greatness in its entirety, today’s your lucky day.

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.
@taylorferber