Once upon a time, a little show called MTV Cribs featured a guest named Kim Kardashian. Known as Paris Hilton’s sidekick and a Hollywood socialite, she showed us things like her “tricked out” cars and Louis Vuitton collection, all in a velour zip-up. We miss you, 2000s.
It’s hard to imagine a time before Kimye’s matching outfits or North West was dominating the fashion scene in diapers. But when Kim shows you the Kardashian-Jenner family’s prior home (a 5,000 sq ft, four bedroom, five bathroom house in Los Angeles), it’ll all start coming back. Here is what made Kim’s Cribs appearance so… Kim.
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Her model/actress ID
MTVShout out to that red velour.
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The kitchen
MTVWhere they chilled HARD.
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Hey, Khloe.
MTVNot having any of Kim’s crap since the beginning of time.
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“I’m a baker.”
MTVKim loves anything with sprinkles, FYI.
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This goddamn immaculate fridge
MTV“This is how it is at all times,” Kim said. “I’m psycho.”
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The part where she explains who her dad Robert was.
MTVThink, Kim, think!!!
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This throwback pic
MTVSeriously, WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
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Bruiser’s killer room
MTV“If you don’t have a gold medal, you’re not doin’ it,” Kim explains.
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Kourtney and Khloe being Kourtney and Khloe.
MTVKim, you just keep talking while we watch these two be awesome.
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A chandellier with a crown on the top
MTV“Because, you know, I’m a princess.”
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A massive pic of her four-year-old self.
MTV“Everyone needs a shrine of themselves,” she says. Little did we know this was only a preview of what was to come.
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Annnnd the stripper pole
MTV“We still like to have a little bit of fun in the bedroom,” Kim says. We’re assuming she’s referring to ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush. And she only used this to workout, guys…
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Then this happened
MTV…
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And this
MTVDoes it make her feel awkward that her four-year-old self is staring at her while she rides the pole?
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Kim is all about her Louis Vuitton
MTV“I am such a Louis Vuitton fan.” She told us about the special green and pink edition purses, and she obviously had both.
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And all about her clothes, obv.
MTV“You can’t really wear anything more than once.” Noted!
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Kim loves catching up on some light reading… about herself.
MTV“There’s nothing better to do on a Sunday than sit and read about yourself,” she says. Yes, it’s so relaxing.
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Behold, Kim’s “tricked out” cars
MTVShe was killing the license plate game before emojis even existed.
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Here’s her special automobile business venture
MTV“My own rim line comes out in the summer.”
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And her’s the two-story doll house godmother Kathy Lee Gifford sent.
MTVWhere she and her little sisters “[played] house.”
If you want to watch all of the greatness in its entirety, today’s your lucky day.