True story: I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday to get a sneak peek at Joe Manganiello’s new book, Evolution, and when I finally got over my embarrassment enough to sheepishly ask the clerk where it was, he said it was already sold out. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it was NOT solely in the hands of men who are looking for, as the whole title puts it, The Cutting Edge Guide to Breaking Down Mental Walls and Building the Body You’ve Always Wanted. C’mon, ladies/gay men, fess up. You are wasting the True Blood star’s hard-earned wisdom by buying up these books just to stuff under your mattresses, aren’t you? I know, I have 10 guesses as to the totally wrong, non-fitness-related reasons you bought it.
1. You have watched this Men’s Health cover video so many times, Youtube has hired extra employees. It’s time the proceeds get back to Joe himself, isn’t it?
2. You are hoping to soothe the pain over the unsexiness of Eric’s full frontal and Alcide’s weird hair on last season’s True Blood finale.
3. This picture of Joe in high school gives you hope that the men in your life could one day look like him.
4. You still feel cheated by the minimal amount of Big Dig Richie we saw in Magic Mike. We saw more of him during his appearance at the 2012 MTV Movie Awards, amiright?
5. Joe failed to take off enough clothing in his workout appearance on Live With Kelly and Michael.
6. You find women’s fitness books to be too easy.
7. You really like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s writing style (Joe’s Sabotage co-star wrote the forward).
8. You’re going to scan the images and Photoshop on the head of that guy you dated last month and post the resulting image on Facebook the week before your high school reunion.
9. Um. Sorry, what were we talking about?
10. You thought that “building the body you always wanted” implied some kind of sex robot kit was included.
Anyway, no judgments here. While you’re at it, pick up Michael McMillian’s Steve Newlin’s Field Guide to Vampires (And Other Creatures of Satan), too!
[Photos: Gallery Books, Getty Images]