Awards season is ON, everyone. And even though most of the “unscripted” bits of tonight’s People’s Choice Awards were totally and completely scripted and rehearsed, it was a good warm up for the shows coming up in the next three months. In case you skipped out on the show assuming it was just going to be another excuse for CBS to promote its shows (how dare you!), we’ve gathered the best jokes, flirtatious banter and bad dancing by hosts Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs of 2 Broke Girls, along with Heidi Klum, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, and more.
1. “I have so many boobies.” Oh, man, was that 2 Broke Girls-set opener long and full of bad line readings from the likes of Christina Aguilera and, oh, the stars of 2 Broke Girls. But the Ian Somerhalder cameo got some screams. Later, when dozens of waitresses streamed into the audience to serve burgers to the A-listers, Kat got in a couple of cute lines. “Some of me are definitely dudes,” she remarked about her voluptuous lookalikes.
2. Beth, your mike is still on. At the end of that opener, after Behrs announced she was going after Brad Paisley, and focus was supposed to shift to Kat introducing the first presenter, we witnessed a gem of a mistake. “Thank you for doing this,” she said in Brad’s ear, clearly expecting that the mike was off as she explained to the country star, “I’m supposed to stay with you until they tell me not to.” This is why we watch live shows!
3. Justin Timberlake and Ellen DeGeneres vs. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. JT thanked Ellen for the inspiration and cookies, and thanked his (not there) wife for teaching him “The little things, like just putting the dishes in the dishwasher — it goes a long way.” Yep, the honeymoon is over.
Next: Zac Efron and Shemar Moore!
4. Stana Katic did actually win Favorite TV Drama Actress. It was hard to tell, though, since there were no nominees read, and it looked like the Castle star was just randomly thanking her crew when she should have been introducing Sara Bareilles. OK, we know these prizes are all rigged, but can they maintain just a little bit of illusion sometimes?
5. Brought to you by Wendy’s and Walgreens. No, you’re right, no illusions here. The pre-commercial shots of actors sipping Frosties made us a little ill, though.
6. Zac Efron’s hairpiece. Speaking of illusions, please fire whoever did Zac’s hair. Also, we’re now wondering if the entire awards show is actually one big promo for That Awkward Moment. Can’t wait for this movie! (See? It worked on us too!)
7. That Awkward Flirting, Part 1. Shemar Moore never once let his eyes wander above Malin Akerman’s collarbone as they presented together. Their banter, which, yes, included him saying “Once you go black,” was clearly written, but his leering looks at her seemed to be improvised. We don’t blame Malin for reading Ian Somerhalder’s name as “Somerhandler” after that.
8. That Awkward Flirting, Part 2. Accepting their “Favorite Chemistry” prize, Vampire Diaries stars Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev made fans swoon and giggle with a pre-rehearsed speech about their relationship:
“Eventually she fell in love with me,” he said of Nina’s character.
“Then we started dating on the show,” she said.
“Then we started dating in real life,” he continued.
“And then we broke up in real life.”
“But our characters are still dating on the show.”
“It’s a good thing it’s not awkward. Well, it’s a good thing we have chemistry.”
9. Heidi Klum wins Favorite Cleavage. Heidi and her boobs were all over the place tonight — requesting a burger, getting Brad Paisley’s hat, posing for cute pics with Ellen, and best of all, doing an Elaine Benes-worthy bad dance onstage in front of Arrow’s Stephen Amell. She was a happy mom out on the town without the kids, wasn’t she? Live it up, girl.
10. Sarah Michelle Gellar thanks her OTHER fans. Sorry if you voted for her for The Crazy Ones. SMG made her speech all about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the show that probably would have won ALL the awards if it had only been around in the current age of powerful superfandom.
Bonus Afterparty Awkward: Justin Timberlake at Taco Bell.
[Photos: Getty Images, Instagram]