If Full House and Modern Family Got In a Fight, Who Would Win?

 

There’s something about goofy family sitcoms that really tickles us. We’ve been thinking about Modern Family of late (with the show’s sixth season premiering tonight), and at the same time getting nostalgic about our childhood favorite, Full House. If we were children now, would we hold the extended Pritchett clan in the same esteem as we once did the Tanner household? Would we religiously DVR episodes and watch them over and over again until the dialogue became so familiar we could recite it in our sleep? Most importantly, which of the two shows would win in a fight? We’ve taken it upon ourselves to pit the two shows against each other, family vs. family, child vs. child, resident hottie vs. resident hottie. Which show has had the best guest appearances? Who teaches the best life lessons? Which kids would we be most inclined to adopt? Check out our reasoning below and see if you agree. Then, then tell us in the comments which family-centric sitcom should come out on top.

The Family We’d Fight To Be Adopted By

  • The Dunphys

  • Jay Gloria Manny Baby Pritchett

  • Cam Lily Mitchell Modern Family Wedding

  • Tanner Family

  • Uncle Jesse Becky Twins Full House

  • Uncle Joey

Would we go to the Dunphys, with parents Claire (Julie Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell)’s chaotic energy? Or the Pritchetts, with mother Gloria (Sofia Vergara)’s nasal wailing and father Jay (Ed O’Neill)’s crotchety ways? Or what about the Tucker-Pritchetts (Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet), with their overly protective, anxiety-filled approach to parenting? On the other hand at Full House, would we be happier with fairly bland single dad Danny Tanner (Bob Saget), or with the jokes of Uncle Joey (Dave Coulier)? Or would we be best off with Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) and Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin) and their sappy, musical family?

ROUND 1: It’s a tough one for sure, but we’re going with the Dunphys. They’re unpredictable enough (especially with Phil’s harebrained schemes) that we’d always be having fun, but they’re also grounded (thanks to Claire’s overwhelming concern). At the end of the day they’re a tight-knit unit in which kids and parents have a deep understanding and love for one another.

Kids We Would Fight To Adopt

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We’re going to be honest here: The kids on Modern Family kind of drive us nuts. Manny (Rico Rodriguez) is just TOO much, while Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) is diva-ish and not as cute as say, Michelle Tanner (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen). The Dunphy kids are OK though: Haley (Sarah Hyland) would be great to have around because her bitchiness translates to a great dry humor, while Alex (Ariel Winter) is the model child, smart, respectful, and (mostly) rule abiding. But if we were going to adopt any kid from Modern Family it would definitely be Luke Dunphy (Nolan Gould) — sort of a savant, the kid is unintentionally hilarious and a great teammate for any parent.

Full House on the other had has the ADORABLE Michelle. Who wouldn’t want to adopt the too-cute-for-words toddler? Middle sister Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) is a little bit too angsty for our tastes, although oldest D.J. (Candace Cameron Bure) would be a good — albeit a little bit boring — kid to adopt. And let’s not forget Alex and Nicky Katsopolis (Dylan and Blake Tuomy-Wilhoit), who rival baby Michelle in cute factor.

ROUND 2: This one comes down to Luke Dunphy versus Michelle Tanner, and because we just love mischief, we’re adopting Luke by a hair.

Watch a grown up D.J. Tanner talk about being real life BFFs with her Full House co-star, Andrea Barber.

The Toughest Life Lessons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMSGLIb5fFs
Modern Family does poignant endings well. Every episode ends with something learned by the ragtag family. The ultimate lesson in Modern Family, however, is that family comes first, because they’re the people who will always be there for you. While sometimes tear-jerkers, these lessons also have an element of humor to them by way of the visual montages that accompany the voice over. For instance, where we learn the lesson that we need both dreamers and pragmatists in the world (“Punkin Chunkin” Season 3, Episode 9), we get to see the crew flinging pumpkins across a football field.

While Full House had some cutesy lessons — like goldfish not needing baths, and maybe don’t go skydiving the day before your wedding — there were some more serious “special” episodes of that were vaguely dark. For instance, when D.J. developed a 3-day long eating disorder that caused her to starve herself and collapse at the gym (“Shape Up,” Season 4, Episode 8). While Full House had its heart in the right place, some of the serious lessons came off a little bit twee, probably because the show had to remain decidedly PG and every episode required a happy ending.

ROUND 3: When it comes to life lessons, the broader brushstrokes of Modern Family and the show’s expert ability to marry the poignant with the dryly hilarious has captured our hearts.

The Most Muscular Catchphrases

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