Horrible Bosses

Careers You Can Have, According to Jennifer Aniston Movies

Aly Semigran

In the original Horrible Bosses, Jennifer Aniston’s character Dr. Julia Harris gave dentists quite a new reputation. Not only does her attractive, albeit very un-PC dentist run a successful practice (without, seemingly, doing much of any dental work at all) but she spends most of her time being wildly unprofessional and sexually harassing her employee Dale (played by Charlie Day). In the sequel Horrible Bosses 2 — which arrives in theaters on November 26 — Aniston’s sex addicted Dr. Julia is still, somehow, a practicing dentist. Turns out, in the world of Aniston movies, career trajectories can be a little different. In anticipation of Horrible Bosses 2, we’re looking back at some of the jobs the actress has held on-screen, and how you can get on the Aniston employment plan, too.

Newspaper Writer (Marley & Me, 2008)

[Photo Credit: Fox 2000 Pictures]

Qualifications: Must be living in the late 90’s to mid-2000s, when newspaper writer is still a viable, existent career.

Bonus incentive: The combined salaries of two writers can afford one unruly, but very lovable and life-changing dog.

Stripper (We’re The Millers, 2013)

[Photo Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures]

Skill set: Killer bod, no-nonsense attitude, ability to strip in a strip club and/or in a warehouse as a means to distract drug cartels in a series of wacky misadventures.

Wardrobe Requirements: As a stripper, not much at all, really. When you’re posing as a wife and mother, the most generic “mom clothes” you can find.

Advertising Executive (Picture Perfect, 1997)

[Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox]

High-profile account: Gulden’s Mustard.

Status: Yeesh, it’s complicated. Apparently to be taken seriously in the world of advertising in Manhattan you must be married (huh?), or at least be willing to dupe a nice guy into pretending to be your fiancé will you carry on an affair with a playboy co-worker.

Waitress (Office Space, 1999)

[Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox]

Location: Chotchkie’s, serving up burgers and forced chain restaurant merriment to office drones.

Flair: Mandatory. Must wear at least 37 pieces, just like Brian does.

Art Gallery Manager (The Break-Up, 2006)

[Photo Credit: Universal Pictures]

Staff: Minimal. It’s just going to be you, your eccentric art gallery owner, and your equally eccentric art gallery assistant.

Salary: Apparently astronomical, as you and your tour guide boyfriend (well, soon to be ex-boyfriend, sorry) can afford an incredibly nice condo in the heart of Chicago.

Plastic Surgery Office Manager (Just Go With It, 2011)

[Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures]

Pros: You may get to accompany your boss to Hawaii for a trip/elaborate dating scheme.

Cons: Your boss is Adam Sandler.

Maid (Friends With Money, 2006)

[Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Classics]

Requirements: To thoroughly clean beautiful (and sometimes downright depressing homes) of people who can afford maids.

Fireable offenses: Stealing makeup samples and/or having sex with your scummy boyfriend in client’s homes.

Copywriter (He’s Just Not That Into You, 2009)

[Photo Credit: New Line Cinema]

Subject: Spices. In this position, you will be a copywriter for a spice catalogue.

Text: Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo’s dating/self-help book He’s Just Not That Into You may not tell you a whole lots about being a copywriter at a spice catalogue, but it will help you find out if he’s that into you.

Floral Designer (Love Happens, 2009)

[Photo Credit: Universal Pictures]

Perks: Your quaint and fragrant job as a creative floral designer can attract the likes of sexy widowers who look like Aaron Eckhart.

Allergy warnings: Flowers, bees, movies with vague and terrible titles.

Vagabond (Along Came Polly, 2004)

[Photo Credit: Universal Pictures]

Job(s): Anything and everything. Right now, a catering waitress for snooty art gallery events for when you’re not taking up salsa dancing.

Location(s): Wherever the wind blows you. Right now, it’s downtown Manhattan where you and your pet ferret can inexplicably rent an obscenely large and trendy loft.