Matthew McConaughey Quotes That Will Change Your Life, Man

Courtney Enlow

Here’s the thing about Matthew McConaughey: he’s the most fascinating man alive. He loves bongos, weed, and nudity. He hates deodorant and basic hygiene.

He sells cars but sells you no bull. He’s some kind of magical hippie drifter who just showed up in our lives to make everything better and prettier (but not necessarily more good-smelling) and we should be thankful every single day for that.

So, let’s look back on the greatest life lessons McConaughey ever gave us.

On love and Lange:

“I remember feeling, back when I was 12 and ‘going’ with this girl, is this true love? At the damn time it sure was! You don’t discredit that. King Kong with Jessica Lange? One of my favorite movies. When I was eight years old watchin’ that movie, I cried when they took King Kong and wouldn’t let him get together with Jessica Lange, because I think they could have worked it out.” (Elle, Feb. 2013) 

On love and spelling:

“For me, one of the toughest things about Valentine’s Day is that it gets geared up as the day to profess your love. See, T-E-S-T— that’s a bad word that doesn’t go with L-O-V-E. Now, if I find a gift that goes, ’Ooh, that’s her’ or ’That’s my woman,’ I’m going to get it and I’m not going to hold onto it. I don’t know how to save it. I’ll give it to you on Tuesday. The tough thing is that some of my best gifts can be Tuesday in November and then come Christmas and birthday I’m going, ’I’ve painted myself in a corner! How am I going to get out? I can’t top the last one that I gave just because!” (People, Nov. 2005)

On tapioca:

“Tapioca is really somethin’ else, isn’t it? Mix a little nut with a little fruit and a little of that and bam! Lights out! That little five ounces right there puts a smile on my face every morning. And it’s only 110 calories.” (Elle, Feb. 2013)

Along with life lessons, MM also has some thoughts on his own filmography:

On his favorite things:

“I love tuna fish. I add sweet corn Niblets. Do you know how good it tastes? Mini dill pickles, Heinz Ketchup, cranberry juice, pomegranate juice, low-fat milk and cans of Miller Lite.” (People, Nov. 2005)

On his answering machine:

“I just changed it on my birthday. It goes, ’Hey, this is McConaughey, Nov. 4, 2005, 36 times. Just keep livin’ along the way Talk to you. Later.'” (People, Nov. 2005)

On proper haircare:

“If you want your hair to be thicker, cut it when the moon is about to be full—a heavy, full, waxing moon. Do not cut it when the moon’s waning. Right now, it’s 14 percent waxing on, it’s a crescent, so you don’t want to cut now. In about 10 days, the moon’s going to be 94 percent full—that’s a great time.” For real? “Damn right. Why do you think that [farmers] plant at certain times of the year? It’s not hippie-dippie stuff. Look, how do they know when you reap, when you sow, when you plant?” (Elle, Feb. 2013)

On his frequency:

“’Find your frequency.’ That’s a goooood one. You get that, don’t you? We all have a frequency, where things are clicking. I can adapt better. I’m catching more green lights. You know what I mean?” (GQ, Dec. 2013)

On commas and curbs and… something:

“Commas merge, ya know? Like, out here. There’s no curbs. No borders that say ‘You must stop here and show us your papers.’ The driveways just kinda”—and here he smacks his hands together and wiggles his fingers in mystical fashion—“merrrrge right off the street.” (Details, 2006)

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]