Chris Rock Says U.S. Race Relations Are “Nonsense,” Calls Ellen DeGeneres the “Gay Rosa Parks”

Chris Rock is promoting his upcoming film, Top Five, but judging from his recent interview in New York magazine, it sounds like he’s ready to run for office. The comedian sat down with columnist Frank Rich and shared views on everything from the Obama administration to Ferguson, with his biting humor dripping from every quote.

Below, read Rock’s most hilarious and truthful observations and discover why you’ll want him to be leader of the free world.

How Rock would cover Ferguson as reporter, using New York’s Rich as a decoy:
“I’d do a special on race, but I’d have no black people. I would get you [Rich] to interview somebody, and I would put something in your ear, and I’d ask the questions through you. And I would ask them questions that you would never come up with, and we’d have the most amazing interviews ever.”

The difference between George W. Bush and Barack Obama:
“There’s an advantage that Bush had that Obama doesn’t have. People thinking you’re dumb is an advantage. Obama started as a genius. It’s like, ‘What? I’ve got to keep doing that? That’s hard to do!’ So it’s not that Obama’s disappointing. It’s just his best album might have been his first album.”

On Obama’s governing strategy:
“When Obama first got elected, he should have let it all just drop. Just let the country flatline. Let the auto industry die. Don’t bail anybody out. In sports, that’s what any new [general manager] does. They make sure that the catastrophe is on the old management and then they clean up. They don’t try to save old management’s mistakes.”

On the U.S.’s racial problems:
“When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it’s all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they’re not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.

“So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.”

How Ellen DeGeneres contributed to the LGBT movement:
“I always call Ellen DeGeneres the gay Rosa Parks. If Rosa Parks had one of the most popular daytime TV shows, I’m sure the civil-rights movement would’ve moved a little bit faster too.”

On Tim Cook, Apple’s openly gay CEO:
“I think [that’s] actually bigger than the football player [Michael Sam]. Because the average person in that locker room is in his 20s. And it’s just not a big deal to be around a gay guy — if you’re in your 20s. Whereas Tim Cook is around these corporate guys. That is the epitome of a boys’ club. That is sexist, ­racist — the least inclusive group of people you’re ever going to find. Men who have no problem being called owners. Who actually wants to be called an owner, even if you owned a football team? Just the title owner is just so nasty and disgusting. So Tim Cook came out to those guys. He’s in that club. My God.”

On today’s African-American leaders:
“I mean, you got to realize, there’s not a need for it the way there was. Back then [during the civil rights movement], we needed that guy for our day-to-day existence. Now you only feel the need in special cases. So, okay, Ferguson goes down. You’re like, ’Oh, it’d be great if we had a guy.'”

On income inequality:
“If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets. If the average person could see the Virgin Airlines first-class lounge, they’d go, ‘What? What? This is food, and it’s free, and they … what? Massage? Are you kidding me?’”

On Hillary Clinton’s possible presidential run in 2016:
“It’s still not a done deal with Hillary. Remember, she was ahead last time. She had all the black people. And she lost to somebody she really shouldn’t have lost to.”

On Bill Clinton’s shady tactics during the 2008 election:
“He’s a dick, but you’re talking about a guy who’s embarrassed his wife. So he had a choice, and I couldn’t judge him. I had to choose between pissing off all the black people in the world or having my wife mad at me? Then the hell with the black people, because he doesn’t live with all the black people. He lives with his wife.”

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