From Justin Bieber’s controversial Calvin Klein ads, to Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s attempt at making light of a serious situation, everyone is getting in on the penis fun. Or, the not-so-much fun if you’re the guy who got his man parts burned off. (Don’t piss off your girlfriend, boys.)
Nick Jonas, Zac Efron, and more stars are hopping on the bulge bandwagon, and lucky for us, it’s only February. Here is how 2015 is already the year of the penis:
Is Justin Bieber’s bulge real or nah?
Justin Bieber’s bulge-bearing Calvin Klein ads surfaced, but he wasn’t as lucky as Mark Wahlberg. Rather than getting a pat on the back, everyone questioned the true size of his manhood after reports claimed the photos were enhanced to make it look larger. Poor little guy.
After the Bieber bulge chaos, we immediately felt the need to investigate other celebs who put his to shame. See them in the gallery.
As this video proves, guys are just more fun to look at when they’re wearing little clothing.
Two words, one hashtag: #EggplantFriday.
Thanks to B.o.B., Instagram’s #FlashbackFriday got pushed to the wayside by a ton of dick picks. The artist posted his photo in mid-December, but the hashtag has carried well into 2015. Like you’re really complaining?
Nick Jonas can’t stop, won’t stop grabbing his crotch.
Penis is now runway chic.
At Paris Fashion Week, the models in the Rick Owens menswear show flashed their junk on the runway. And the people sitting front row haven’t been the same since. Soon, not showing penis on the runway will be considered weird.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt introduces the “Dick Gun.”
The actor turns the serious issue of gun control (“Is that a gun in your pants?…”) into a hilarious three-part series (“Dick Gun”) on HitRecord. The important and bulge-heavy video is a collaboration between JGL and friends Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, and Efron. To all you men who believed your junk was your own personal “gun,” watch the skits and let us know if you’ll ever think of it the same way again.
Girl destroys boyfriend’s penis because she can.
Ladies, if you want revenge on your man, you can always pour acid on his penis. A 25-year-old South African man secretly taped himself having sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend, and the footage made its way to social media. She was reportedly so angry that she poured acid on his penis so he couldn’t use it again. He now has to pee out of a tube.
Calvin Harris shares his gift beyond the DJ booth.
As the face of Emporio Armani, Harris stripped down to his underwear for the Spring/Summer 2015 campaign. We now better understand why Rita Ora was so torn up over their break up. Poor girl.
Ashton Kutcher didn’t want to show us his real dick.
In an interview with Conan O’Brien, Kutcher wasn’t ashamed to admit that he used a huge, prosthetic penis on Two and a Half Men so the live audience wouldn’t see the real goods. Gotta do what you gotta do.
Zac Efron grabbed Dave Franco’s junk with all the force in the world.
At the 2015 MTV Movie Awards, the two hotties fully embraced each other in their Neighbors characters. The photo speaks for itself, don’t you think?
We look forward to seeing more of you this year, penis.
[Photo Credit: Getty/Calvin Klein/GQ/HitRecord/Emporio Armani]