Was Courtney Love Channeling Mariah Carey on ‘Empire’?

Michael Arceneaux

Per usual, Cookie was everything on last night’s Empire while the rest of the family – sans Jamal, I suppose – continued to bewilder me. 

I have some thoughts, concerns, and kudos for Courtney Love. Enjoy!

1. Why did Malik Yoba choke Andre?

After Vernon cornered Lucious and coerced him into confessing that he killed Bunky, Vernon then turned his sights on Andre – ultimately attacking him for providing his dad with an alibi for Bunky’s murder. OK, so I get that Vernon is as much a “fixer” for Lucious as he is his number two at Empire Entertainment, but why would he choke Andre for covering for his dad? Is he upset at Andre for keeping him out of the loop? Is he still temperamental over Torres being killed in that car bomb on New York Undercover?

2. What broke people plan to go away for the weekend?
In order to appease his whiny boyfriend, Michael, Jamal suggests the two “go away for the weekend.” That sounds lovely, but a week ago they couldn’t afford pizza so how are they now going on vacation?

3. No shade, but was Courtney Love playing Mariah Carey?
When I heard Courtney Love (Elle Dallas) was a fledgling yet still very much difficult to deal with diva who sold 100 million albums in the past, but couldn’t get a hit to save her life and record deal, I immediately thought, “They’ve got that crazy lady from Hole playing crazy ass Mimi.” However, I’ve since learned thanks to the Twitter that Courtney was playing a hybrid of Whitney and Mariah. Fair enough, but if Mariah was watching last night, I’m pretty sure she still threw a stiletto at her flat screen in protest.

4. Who believes that Cookie was listening to Elle Dallas’ music while she was locked up?
So as the story goes, Empire was about to drop Elle Dallas only for Cookie to go to bat for her because she was a stan. Let Cookie tell it, she played Elle Dallas’ music while she was incarcerated. I don’t buy that at all. In fact, I’m almost certain Cookie only played Lil’ Kim’s first two albums, Jay Z’s debut, and select works from Mobb Deep and Eightball and MJG in prison.

5. Who else forgot Courtney Love can act?
I forgot how decent an actress Love was given I haven’t seen her do anything besides act a damn fool on Twitter for the past couple of years. Respect.

Unsurprisingly, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta’s Joseline Hernandez is also a fan of Cookie Lyon.

6. How long before Jamal dumps Michael?

Granted, it was Cookie who planted the seed in Michael’s head that their relationship might not last with Jamal’s rising fame, but who else was turned off when he started questioning Jamal’s artistic integrity? Like, you’re going to live off your formally rich boyfriend all this time and suddenly you want to question his value system? These dudes ain’t loyal. Call me, Jamal.

7. Do you think Michael is somewhere crying in bed listening to Jazmine Sullivan’s “Brand New”?
I see it. Poor thing. He’s cute, though.

8. Would you go to the club to get a retweet?
Cookie, has Kim Kardashian’s life taught you nothing? If you want a celebrity to tweet about something, just cut a check. Save yourself some gas money.

9. Who outside of the ’90s still says “step off”?
Apparently Jamal when he’s annoyed with Hakeem disrespecting his mama?

10. Anyone else notice how Hakeem went from Roscoe Dash to Big Sean on beat in a single episode?
Last night was the first time Hakeem rapped and I didn’t bust out laughing. And I see that the two music brothers are working out their parental issues via their first singles.

11. So you’re going to take a murder charge for someone you don’t even know?
Now, it’s not uncommon for someone in a rapper’s crew to take a charge on their behalf (allegedly), but last night Vernon found some man who was willing to take a murder charge for Lucious, only he didn’t know that. I know money makes the world go round, but really?

12. Since when is the Russian medical community at the helm of ALS treatment?

Please advise.

13. Can you name one successful artist on Empire Entertainment?
I can’t. Thus far we’ve got Hakeem, who’s trying; Jamal, who’s also trying; the rapper who sucked and got dropped; Elle Dallas, who tried, succeeded, and fell the hell off over time.

14. Wasn’t “I Wanna Love You” great?

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