Congratulations to all of the Gladiators: Like Olivia Pope, we are free from our captors. In her case, those random losers who tried to hawk her to the highest bidder; for us, a storyline that had no business being spread out over this many episodes.
For the first time this season, I enjoyed Scandal a whole bunch and without excessive levels of confusion (just my usual levels). Still, I have questions per usual.
1. Was Fitz really going to risk national security just to save Olivia Pope from danger?
Of course he was because he’s always thinking with the wrong head. What is it with Republicans and bringing their personal life into war?
2. So we can locate and take out Osama Bin Laden, but we can’t get Olivia Pope back without all of the hassle?
I know I’m not the only person who thought this.
3. Did you notice how much Not Condoleezza Rice wanted Olivia Pope to die?
That woman was like, “Olivia Pope has to die. Forget your thoughts and your feelings; she literally knows where all of the bodies are buried. KILL HER.” She was basically Cyrus with the balls to express herself out loud and directly in front of Fitz.
4. Why does Cyrus refuse to rein President Fitz again?
I should’ve known that scene where Cyrus barks at Fitz to buck up and let bae number two go for the good of the country was too good to be true. Fitz would never let Cyrus talk that much sense into him in such a short amount of time. But like, you’re the chief of staff. Unleash the goon within and do your job right, Cy.
5. Why is Andrew so petty?
Andrew’s scheme to blackmail the president by kidnapping Olivia blew up in his face, but this man refused to back down – from Mellie anyway. Mellie had every right to tell Andrew that when it comes to his chances of becoming president, he’s Ashanti and she’s Beyoncé. Unfortunately, because he’s such a hater, he was threatening to tell the world that he Monica Lewinsky’d all on her gown. She should’ve snapped his neck then and there.
6. Is Mellie the most trill person on the show?
The answer is yes. After Andrew once again threatened to expose her, she turned to Elizabeth North and said she gave up her cookies to save the last pieces of good skin Huck left her so she best step it up and figure out a way to take Andrew out. Queen Mellie. The best part was when she told post-stroke Andrew, “You brought this on yourself.” Mellie/More Mellie 2016.
7. Wasn’t it nice to see Jack try to help Huck tuck his sociopathic, murderous creep in better?
Yes, even if it was totally in vain. It was like an intervention for crazy people, but Huck is like the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kim Richards. He can’t stop, won’t stop.
8. Why did Olivia have top-level clearance?
Vagina power is not an acceptable answer even if it’s the most reasonable. Seriously, was that a sweet 16 gift from Daddy Pope?
9. Explain to me how every country and terrorist group would know Olivia Pope had such a high security clearance.
Some folks on Twitter told me it was because she used to be White House Press Secretary. Yeah, no, because y’all saw how Abby didn’t have any intel with the same position. When you’re White House secretary, you’re qualified to get a nice contract from a cable news network. Try again.
10. Does Quinn really think she can get Huck to stop killing people?
It ties nicely into Lent, but c’mon, Quinn. Grow up, girl.
Kerry Washington reveals how long she plans to play Olivia Pope.
11. Why didn’t Olivia use reverse psychology on her kidnappers?
This lets me know Olivia is rusty with respect to her job duties, which she barely does anymore. Like, you should’ve known that by telling them to go with bidder Marie Wallace that they would go the opposite route.
12. Why was Rowan living in a cabin and fishing in the nearby lake for fun?
I was expecting to see him on one of those man made beaches for rich people in Dubai. In any event, note that even when his daughter’s life hangs in the balance, Rowan Pope will deliver a monologue.
13. Where is Cyrus’ daughter?
Have we seen her since Cyrus realized he won’t see James again until the crossroads? Is she with the nanny? At day care? At her grandma and ‘em’s house?
14. Remember Stephen?
Admittedly, I didn’t immediately recall Stephen, but after a few moments, it hit me that Stephen is an OG gladiator from the first season. The one who used his bae and charm to secure information for OPA. After he met someone, Liv set him free to get married and enjoy a “normal” life. That said, Olivia told him to come back with her to the States. Yeah right, Olivia. He had to save you from some BS. I’d stay far away from you, too. Hi and bye again, Stephen. 15. Can Abby get a handclap?
She may not longer be a gladiator and they may keep her at bay at the White House, but she’s the one who saved Olivia. Bow down.
16. Why is Olivia only now having dead bolts installed on her door?
Riddle me that.
17. How long will Olivia stay mad at Fitz?
I give it four minutes into the next episode, but I hope she enjoyed that long night of blasting Sade, old Mary J. Blige, Keyshia Cole’s first two albums and texting Abby about how men ain’t shit.
[Photo Credit: ABC]