26 Ways 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Is Actually 'Twilight,' Minus the Vampires
We all know E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey is Twilight fan fiction. But until you see both films, you may not realized how similar they are. The two romantic dramas are legitimately the same story, it was just a matter of adding a Red Room and subtracting a vampire.
If you're too lazy to buy into the hype and spend time watching these films, here's all you need to know. (And if you love both Fifty Shades and Twilight, this is about to be the best thing of your life.)
1. Female lead names.
Ana is short for Anastasia and Bella for Isabella. Each has the same amount of syllables.
2. Both take place in rainy and gray Washington towns — Seattle (Fifty Shades) and Forks (Twilight), respectively.
Which just adds to the sexual tension and dark ambiance of it all.
3. Ana and Bella are twins.
Mousey, totally average white girls who are awkward and fall a lot. They're also loners who don't enjoy group activities. Seriously, they're "not [their] thing."
4. As are the male leads, Christian and Edward.
Brooding, intense, mysteriously, and sexy brunettes who fall for these boring girls (yet no one knows why).
5. He can't "read her."
In the initial Fifty Shades interview scene, Christan "wants to know more about [Ana]" even though she's the one interviewing him. Edward has the ability to read minds, but is frustrated when he can't read Bella's. In turn, both characters grill their female counterparts with questions about their families, yet give nothing about their personal lives in exchange.
So. Confused.
Now that you have the start of the breakdown, watch Fifty Shades star Rita Ora put her Twilight knowledge to the test.
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6. He feels a crazy need to protect her, especially since she's prone to accidents.
Exhibit A: Ana almost just got ran over.
Exhibit B: So did Bella.
"Could you at least watch where you walk," guys?
7. Suddenly, he tells her she shouldn't be with him.
Christian tells Ana: "I'm not the guy for you, I have to let you go."
Edward tells Bella: "If you were smart, you'd stay away from me."
8. Then, he decides he can't leave her alone. Just can't.
Christian: "I'm incapable of leaving you alone."
Edward: "I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."
To which Ana and Bella both originally reply: "Then don't."
9. The ethnically ambiguous friend (José in Fifty Shades, Jacob in Twilight) threatens the central relationship.
Why they're all fighting over her, we'll never know.
10. Stalker behavior sets in, especially with other men.
Christian won't stop eying José during his photo shoot and swears he's romantically connected to Ana.
Edward follows Bella to another town and wards of a group of creepy drunk men.
11. The men ask if the women have their trust.
Then, Christian binds Ana's hands with his tie and Edward takes Bella tree-hopping.
12. The woman's mom lives far away — in a hot climate, with boyfriend of the month.
Their phone calls include mom asking if they've "met someone" because they're as giddy as a middle school girl.
13. Of course, they both have a beloved dad or step-dad.
You don't fuck with Charlie.
14. The trip to see mom.
Ana's mom realizes how intense Christian is because he shows up in Georgia, at the same bar, unexpected.
Bella's mom realizes Edward's passion for Bella because he can't stop starring at her. Literally hasn't blinked for hours straight.
15. Male lead plays piano intensely.
They know their way with their hands. This also adds to their brooding demeanor from No. 4.
16. He watches her when she sleeps.
Not creepy in the slightest.
17. She meets his big family at an awkward dinner.
Don't let Rita Ora's cameo as Christian's sister with two whole lines fool you.
Edward's family is way cooler, obviously. Except for Rosalie who's a total psycho.
18. Male leads wants to bite her.
Lip or neck, what's the difference?
19. Female takes part in extensive research.
Ana has to look into dominant and submissive behavior, while Bella looks up history of vampires.
Bella obviously got the short end of the stick here.
20. He shows up in her room randomly.
Doorbells or knocking don't exist in these worlds, but at least Christian is prepared with the wine.
21. Her place is totally average and old while his is contemporary and fucking immaculate.
Christan's pad:
The Cullen house:
22. The "Welcome to my world" line.
Which Christian delivers after spanking Ana and Edward to Bella during their tree-hopping adventures.
23. The male lead has a troubled past.
Being that hot doesn't come easy. Christian was actually abused as a child and Edward's vampire/no soul struggles are killing him.
24. Female sacrifices everything to be with him, and he "changes" her.
Because she'll never be this loved by someone so hot.
25. They've all waited.
"You don't know how long I've waited for you."- Edward to Bella
"Where have you been?"- Christian "Waiting."- Ana
26. Oh, and the mind-blowing sex.
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