By it’s own standards, last night’s episode of Scandal was a bit slow. I mean, no one was kidnapped, murdered, or kidnapped and threatened with murder if they couldn’t be sold to the Islamic Republic of Iran. There was also no infidelity or competing monologues. No one was tortured by Huck either, even when a prime opportunity presented itself. It was like this show was going back to its initial seasons, where mystery clouded the overall episode, but in the meantime there was a simple problem that required Olivia Pope’s wisdom to bring forth a resolution.
I’m so used to this show doing the most, I didn’t know what the hell to do with it acting like it finally took a Xanax. But hell, since we’re here, let’s just enjoy the moment. Lord knows it’ll likely end soon.
1. What the hell is with that woman’s laugh?
I wish I could say that in real life, Susan Ross’ laugh would be a non-story. However, in the era of MSNBC’s Morning Joe and Don Lemon being a ratings winner for CNN, I’d be lying if I pretended that something as irrelevant as a prospective Vice President’s random ass laugh would not be major news in this climate. Was nicer Sarah Palin’s laugh hella extra? It was, but it’s a shame so many people cared about it.
2. Why is Huck’s wife trying to start mess?
I know Huck’s wife aka Astrid Farnsworth from Fringe meant well when she took those B613 files Huck left her to David Rosen, but she’s trying to get herself and her spawn sliced to the white meat. You have to be one brave soul to read about a secret government agency full of mercenaries and sociopaths free to do whatever the hell they want in the name of protecting the union and think to yourself, “Yeah, I’m going to go to the government and end this.” She is better than me.
3. How dumb is Huck?
I know if I were actually on Scandal and posed such a question, I’d be dead by the end of this sentence. Nonetheless, though I understand why Huck felt compelled to prove himself to his estranged wife, why didn’t he leave a note on those boxes that read, “Girl, don’t get us killed and run to the very government that let me be this crazy?”
4. Will Abby ever learn to stop dating jackasses?
Abby loves herself a mean-spirited man, doesn’t she? There was her ex-husband, then David Rosen (who, like Drake, is a bad catch speaking in sweet tones), and now Leo Bergen. Will she ever learn to swipe left on these kinds of men? I doubt it, but that is her burden and the Lord’s, not mine.
5. So Rose was bae?
I just assumed Rose was looking out for her homegirl when she kept pestering the hell out of Olivia to find out about her whereabouts, but as it turns out, Rose and Olivia’s neighbor were in love. Not in love enough to live together, but as Rose explained, when they first fell for each other, it was hard enough just being Black much less gay. This is the part where you insert the “100” emoji.
Look, I’m just happy to see Marla Gibbs on TV, but I think it’s pretty amazing that she played an AARP-reading, Social Security check-cashing member of the LGBT community to boot. That woman is amazing, and just so you know, she’s tweeting. Your grandma could never be as fly.
6. Can you believe Fitz reached out to the Democrats?
I appreciate Olivia ultimately rising to the occasion and stepping inside of the White House to inform him that the Democrats in the Senate didn’t want to confirm Susan Ross as VP to spite him and his inept way of governing. Am I surprised Fitz took Liv’s advice to go on Capitol Hill and go, “please, baby, baby please confirm Susan Ross?” No. That man would do whatever Olivia says. Well, not divorce his wife, but whatever. You get what I mean.
7. Can we start a prayer circle for Olivia?
I’m worried about our girl, y’all. She’s suffering heavily from PTSD, and while I’m happy she is back to sipping red wine and eating popcorn – which, for her, constitutes eating a real meal – Liv seems completely out of it. Poor thing.
8. So should everyone be afraid of what David Rosen will do next?
Huck decided to go ahead and testify to at least some of the truth about B613, compelling David Rosen to do his job as Attorney General and “go after the bad guys.” Granted, beautiful man Jake went on to explain to David that would include all of them, but hey, maybe David Rosen will be dead soon. Problem solved. Or not. But something better get done, though, because you know how self-righteous that Rosen can get.
9. Did we get enough Mellie?
Hell no. I sure hope that’s fixed next week. I feel cheated. Love you, Mellie Mel.
[Photo Credit: ABC/Nicole Wilder]