For weeks now, Empire and its ever-expanding base of viewers have been teased about its inaugural season’s finale — most notably, that “everything will change.” Considering Lucious Lyon could drop dead any second now and more than one character has come face to face with the barrel of a gun, a shocking death is not out of the question. Now, I don’t have much in the way of making solid predictions outside of knowing when my Internet service will go out (at any moment, at any given day) or that there will be baes at the gym (part of the reason I joined that location). Nonetheless, I’ve been tasked with leading the guessing game so here I go, here I go (if you heard Mystikal’s voice, you get two points). The characters we believe have the highest chance of dying in the season finale are:
1. Hakeem’s flattop.
This is more like wishful thinking on my part. I don’t have a problem with the flattop. Hell, I rocked a curly one back in the early ’90s. But, watching Hakeem rock this flattop makes me feel old – and I’m too young to feel old. I don’t know if Hakeem’s hairstyle will die, but it should for that selfish reason alone. Besides, since Iman Shumpert (I didn’t know who he was either, no shade) is out here claiming that Hakeem and Tiana are based on him and Teyana Taylor (in vain, for the most part), I think it’s best we all start over.
2. Boo Boo Kitty
Based on the previews of next week’s finale, Anika tries to fight Cookie, which means it’s more than likely that Cookie will beat her down to the white meat and her debutante self will die. I don’t have beef with Anika personally. I mean, she’s not screwing my former no good husband who left me to rot in jail. However, she always tries Cookie and now that she’s gotten physical with a woman who did hard time, well, God bless her.
3. Vernon Turner
He gets on Lucious Lyon’s nerves and we all know what happens when a non-blood relative does that. Don’t we, Bunkie? (Remember, that was Cookie’s cousin.) So Lucious will try to strangle him or something, then the ALS will kick in, leaving him to grab his gun and shoot him before Vernon manages to catch his breath and help Lucious catch the fade. If this happens, I’ll be super sad. Like, Torres died on New York Undercover, and now more than a decade or so later, his partner finally joins him at the big precinct in the sky.
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4. Rhonda Lyon
Lucious has a problem with white people marrying his kids, so the odds are not in her favor.
5. Andre Lyon
A main character will likely pass, but it won’t be Jamal because he’s popping and it won’t be Hakeem because…he’s popping, too. That leaves only Andre, who is struggling with his bipolar disorder, which this show depicts more like something a Marvel character suffers from. In any event, while I enjoy looking at him, he might find himself meeting Jesus and Muhammad at the crossroads. If this happens, I’ll pour some brown liquor on the sidewalk in your honor, sir. I’ll definitely take it hard.
Okay, I’m just trolling y’all with this selection. She’s not important enough to live or die on the show. I doubt any of us would even notice. You know, like Joyce and the Wicca from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I do want her blonde weave to die, though. Sorry, not sorry.
7. LUCIOUS LYON
Lucious’ death would make the show a whole lot more interesting, as the family would scramble to not only deal with the loss of a relative, but the head of their record label and center of their lives. He can also visit as a ghost and haunt their asses in their dreams.
[Photo Credit: FOX]