Kim Kardashian Strips Down to Preserve Her Perfect Body, Can’t Stop Having Sex with Kanye West

We had some burning questions prior to Sunday’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians season 10 premiere, but now we’re even more confused. Keeping up with this crazy crew just became a little bit harder thanks to new layers like Bruce’s other sons (remember Burt Jenner?) and — surprise, surprise — more family drama (you’re not the only one who prefers Reggie Bush to Kanye West). In case you missed last night’s episode, here are the moments that caused serious head tilts.

1. Kim has a naked photo shoot… again.

But it’s not for Paper (…yet). The shoot isn’t what was absurd — it’s the logic behind it. Kim wanted to capture pics of her body before she got pregnant again — when the miracle of life will destroy those perfect curves. She also says, “They look so good,” about her own photos. Who does that?

2. Bruce is shady as hell, and the girls jump all over him about it.

Kourtney riles her sisters up after overhearing a suspicious phone call between Bruce and Kris Jenner’s friend. So if he’s chatting with a woman on the phone he’s automatically dating her? Maybe he just wants some company? The man already lives all by his lonesome in a (million dollar) beach house. Give him a break!

Later, Kim throws some real talk his way.

Would he really be dating someone right now? And Kris’ friend, nonetheless?

3. Bruce’s son says farewell to Kourtney and the family.

The elusive eldest Jenner brother Burt (hi Burt!) awkwardly told Kourtney to say goodbye to Rob and Khloe for him. Yes, Kris and Bruce have separated, but as Kourtney explains, they’ve been family for over 20 years. We doubt they’ll just remove him from their memories entirely — plus, Calabasas and Malibu are not that big. We have a feeling this is to play up how the divorce drama is affecting the Jenner and Kardashian families, but would a newcomer like him really do what the producers ask that easily?

4. Brody Jenner disses Kim and Kanye and praises Kim’s ex Reggie Bush.

Leave it to Brody to make a family dinner much more awkward than it needed to be. While dining with Kourtney and Scott in Las Vegas, Brody let those suppressed feelings about the Kimye wedding out, and revealed why he’s still so bitter about missing the event. “Nobody really gave a fuck if [his girlfriend] Kaitlynn or I went.” And it didn’t stop there. “Put Kanye and Reggie together in a burning building, guess who I’m saving? Reggie all the way.” Well, damn Brody. Tell us how you really feel.

5. Kim let’s us all know how much she and Kanye are getting it on.
“The doctor said when I have sex I have to lay down for, like, 10 to 20 minutes, so, I just had sex before you guys got here,” she explained, while letting Khloe sit in her post-coital love nest. “He said it takes 10 minutes for a sperm to swim up there. I’m going to wait like 5 more minutes just for this to marinate inside of me.” TMI? We know you’re trying for baby No. 2 but ick. And now you can’t listen to “Only One” the same way.

6. Bruce says he wouldn’t even want to be married to himself.
“I would die if I was married to me.” Tear. Can someone give Bruce a hug?

Did the premiere episode’s drama bring in high ratings for E!’s powerhouse show? The Gossip Table explains.

[Photo Credit: E!]

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.