On last night’s Scandal, Lena Dunham played Hannah Horvath, only a version of Hannah Horvath that lived in Washington D.C., had sex with the most powerful men in the U.S. government and wrote a memoir about it. She had a really bad wig, but she fit right in with the cast — particularly when it comes to reciting one of Shonda Rhimes’ trademark monologues. Salute to you, Lena, for making it do what it do.
OK, now for the rest of the people on this show.
1. Aren’t we glad that Abby and Olivia are friends again so we can watch Liv judge Abby’s dating tastes like the good ole days?
It was nice to see Oliva fight off making a face upon discovering that Abby and Leo have been boning for months now. Granted, Olivia is in no position to judge anyone’s taste in men or sexual activity, but it was a cute moment all the same. I love these two’s friendship; they’re like Bravo housewives, only with real jobs and not the ones they make up for screen time.
2. What is with Lena Dunham’s wig?
It was giving me Natalie from The Facts of Life. This is not a compliment. Shout out to Tootie, though.
3. How long before Huck dies?
I’m really tired of Huck and his murdering maniac schtick. Can he die already? He’s pressed to get his immunity deal in light of his choice to testify against a secret government organization that once employed him. I mean, there’s no way in hell he’ll be successful in such an endeavor. It won’t be long before Papa Pope or one of his devotees chops him up like some General Tso’s chicken. And if they don’t get him, someone else will since he’s out here just randomly slashing the throats of people. Speaking of, how is he even still able to take on OPA cases at a time like this?
4. Did you peep Sue getting Olivia together?
This was a pretty good line: “I had the audacity to have too much great sex… go ahead and call me a whore. Everyone who writes a memoir is called one.” Overall, Sue was talking to Olivia Pope the way Shoshanna checks Hannah. Pay homage.
5. Did I hear Hillary 2016 shade?
During the back and forth about whether or not Sue should release her tell-all memoir, Olivia told Sue that she would be labeled a whore. That’s when Sue popped back about O.Pope going punk. Sue then gave her an Olivia Pope themed pep talk, “You and RBG, that’s all we got.” Almost certain President Bill Clinton, who admittedly watches Scandal, texted Hillary and said, “Is that what the kids call shade?”
6. Did you Google “Dust buster?”
I did, but I’m not allowed to show you what I found.
7. Can we call David Rosen a thot for smashing Sue?
Too late. I’ve already decided he is one. Bloop.
8. So when is Olivia Pope getting a therapist?
Just when Olivia thinks to have sex with a Black man, she has a flashback to her kidnapping, panics, and storms out of the restaurant. Yes, she made up for it but let’s get her some treatment for that PTSD.
9. Why is Cyrus so awful?
It was nice to think that Cyrus would cough up $3 million to stop Sue from publishing her book, but Olivia quickly realized that all Cyrus wanted was dirt on his enemies. This man has the heart of Ebenezer Scrooge before the ghosts haunted him on Christmas Eve. And wait, where his daughter? I was going to ask about his escort-fiance, but next week will deal with them getting married (or not).
10. Do we like Elizabeth North running Mellie’s Virginia senatorial campaign?
To me, it’s like Cruella de Vil teaming up with the Snow Queen. They’re going to be so successful together. Do it, Mellie Mel!
11. How creepy is it that Jake and Fitz are stalking her together?
Hashtag hell no.
[Photo Credit:ABC/Nicole Wilder]