Mob Wives – Episode 5 – Forgive And Forget

Forgiveness. It’s a big theme on tonight’s Mob Wives for many people. You know the Don Henley song “The Heart Of The Matter”? (No? Just me?) I thought of that song because of the refrain of the word “forgiveness” throughout, but really, if you look at all the lyrics, they describe every person on this show’s relationship, either with one another or with someone they loved once. “If you keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside, baby.” Yeah, that’s Renee. “People filled with rage. We all need a little tenderness.” Yeah, that’s everyone. Sorry for the weird Don Henley aside, but that’s one of those songs that gets triggered in my brain when I hear a keyword and, hey, go with me, it fits the situation. So who’s in a forgiving mood this week?

Well, for starters, Ramona’s opening her heart just a little bit to Drita. Has hell frozen over? No, but Ramona will do anything for her kids, and her daughter Malina wants Drita’s daughter Aleeya to attend her birthday party. “Do I really wanna hang out with Drita? Um, definitely not,” Ramona explains, but their kids are friends, it’s not like anyone’s forcing the older women to be BFFs. When Karen hears this, she gets that Karen look on her face. You know the one.

Classic Karen Stink-eye.

Next, we see Renee grapple with her grudges in therapy, where she’s working on letting things go. She tells her rehab group that once she’s been wronged, she is unable to forgive. “I can’t come back from it. I dislike the person forever,” she says. “There is no forgiveness.” Cough cough, Carla.

Which sucks for this lady in Renee’s group, because Renee says she heard her talking about her behind her back, and Renee lashes out at her for doing so. Clearly if this woman did say something about Renee, she’s never seen this show or what happens when you put Renee’s name in your mouth.

We know Ang has been on the skids with her husband Neil lately, and when he shows up at the Drunken Monkey looking for, what else — some forgiveness, of course — all she can do is roll her eyes at him.

Ang is sick of the fact that Neil doesn’t do anything. He abandoned her after she got foot surgery. He doesn’t pay the bills. He doesn’t care for the pets. “I don’t DO anything?” he asks her. “No. You don’t. You drink Diet Coke, that’s what you do,” she tells him, as he sips his soda.

“What part didn’t you get? I threw you out!” she says. “Done! Goodbye!” Neil, I dub thee unforgiven.

“Last time I saw Ramona, I wanted to put her head through a f—ing window,” Drita says after she gets Ramona’s call about the birthday party. And yet despite that, she agrees to meet with her nemesis to talk things out. So, progress.

“I always thought that the smartest thing to do, for me, was to stay the f— away from her,” Drita says. As she meets with Ramona. So sure, she’s breaking her own rule, but it’s for the sake of the children. Together, the two women rehash their big fight from Renee’s celebration of life party where everyone came to blows, and shockingly, they agree that there was a ton of miscommunication, and everyone was overheated to the point where the situation had to explode. “Your body was so tense, your neck was speaking its own language,” Ramona tells Drita. “Karen’s eyeballs were coming out of their sockets.” “It was awful,” Drita agrees.

“We all could be animals, we all could be street urchins, or we all could be ladies,” Ramona says now.

“Ramona right now is looking more like a mom to me than Lucifer, so it’s nice!” Drita says. We could be ladies? No more Lucifer? I mean, are my ears broken, or is this situation resolving itself peacefully? I have the warm fuzzies to be quite honest.

“This is like some f—ed up, sick, sadistic dream. We hated each other so horribly but…I guess we’re gonna…be…friends?” Ramona ask-says. “Odd. Very odd.” Reunited! And it feels so good.

Carla’s a lot more skeptical of the situation, however, and when Drita tells her that the artist formerly known as Lucifer has extended an olive branch, she doesn’t believe it but wishes Drita luck.

Carla’s also having some trouble handling Joe this week, because when he finally tells her he saw an attorney to start divorce proceedings, he tells her that their marriage is like a business arrangement that didn’t work out and she reacts appropriately by telling him “Oh my God, that is cold.”

Joe is kind of…fed up, shall we say, with Carla’s constantly changing attitude and behavior toward him, and when she calls him out for getting all lawyered up and talking formal paperwork and legal stuff, he tells her he just wants to prepare her for what’s in store in case things get nasty. “Admit that you’re more volatile than me,” he tells her. And Carla totally admits she is, because she had to hold down her house and kids while he was in jail, she put up with his cheating when he was home, and she can’t help it if this guy pisses her off every so often.

Back to Neil and Ang. Ang stops by the Drunken Monkey one afternoon to check in on business, and while she’s there, two middle-aged guys who have nothing better to do than get drunk during daylight hours start a fight. Ang tried to intervene unsuccessfully, and that’s when her knight in a shiny Camaro pulls up.

Neil busts up the fight and saves the day and…yes, earns a bit of forgiveness in Ang’s heart.

“He really stepped up in my bar,” Ang says. “’Bout time, Neil!!”

It’s time for Ramona’s daughters’ birthday party, and it’s the stuff of My Super Sweet 16 dreams. It’s a huge event, and when Drita walks in with Aleeya, the first person to give her a hug is Karen, who is there with her own daughter, Karina. “The devil goes away when it comes to the kids,” Drita says.

Instead of bodyguards, I think it might actually be wise for people to start traveling with an entourage of kids at their side, because it seems like nothing is a better deterrent to violence than this.

Ramona’s boyfriend, Joe, is still sitting in prison awaiting trial, and she decides to visit his lawyer to see if they’re making any progress. This isn’t that important, aside from the fact that Ramona reveals that, oh, yeah, she and Joe ARE ENGAGED. But because the feds confiscated all of her jewelry when they took Joe in, she’s been hanging on to her engagement ring and not wearing it in public so no one ever sees it, lest it be taken from her.

If I had known sooner, I’d have offered some congrats, but Ramona, now that you’ve come out of the engagement closet, mazel! But it turns out I shouldn’t feel bad because Ramona says none of the girls know she’s engaged. “The only people that know I’m engaged are my children.” The lawyer assures her that as long as the ring was bought with legit money, she should feel free to wear it loud and proud.

So everyone seems to be in a forgiving mood this week, or at least their hearts have grown a size or two (maybe not a full, Grinch-worthy three sizes, but we’re making progress). Which is good news because soon enough, they’re all going to have to help each other now that Hurricane Sandy is on its way. Drita and Renee chat on the phone, and Renee, whose rehab facility is in Florida, is all but helpless. AJ is back in Staten Island, so not only is she far from her friends, but her son is about to weather the storm alone. It’s going to be a trying time.

“I lived in New York my whole life, I’ve never seen anything like this,” Carla says. Now might just be the perfect time for all the grudges to be released, the women are going to need each other now more than ever.