K.Michelle’s woo-ha is a star in its own right this season. Despite its name change from hot pocket to woo-ha, it’s thriving quite well even with the slump it has taken since her breakup with that unnamed guy.
The woman has tried everything to get the pulse back in her vagina. Nothing is doing it for her or her woo-ha. Jack Daniels helps a little bit, but he’s not enough to get her all hot and bothered like she was accustomed to when she was with the guy she never names (JR Smith). Hiring a professional to come to her home to bedazzle her vagina was a sign she was in dire need of some help with her polly pocket. And of course, one must invite their girlfriends over to witness such a sparkling monumental moment go down. K didn’t want to get lips bedazzled down there, but maybe she’d go for an ice cream cone or bedazzled Rihanna. Check out the 10 things K.Michelle should bedazzle her vajayjay with that may help it get back poppington.
10. Ice cream cone anyone?
Wouldn’t a jeweled out dripping ice cream cone perk you up a bit? All right then.
9. Her longest boyfriend ever, meet Jack.
A double shot of Jack, one in her cup another on her woo-ha. Now she can get drunk and aroused. Then maybe get some. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
8. That one guy who broke the woo-ha.
Are we still not naming JR Smith as if that’s not who she’s referring to when she says her vag is missing him? By all means we’re glad she’s moved on, but if a jeweled out picture of his face will do work until she tricks it into working again, this could be a slam dunk.
7. Light the way
A glow stick to lead the way so her woo-ha knows, hey, we’re back in business.
6. When all else fails get mushy.
Future sang it best. “I need loooooove and affection.” A little love and affection can perk Miss Thang right up.
5. The baddest bad gal in all the land.
Because who doesn’t get instantly horny when looking at Rihanna? A bedazzled Rihanna under K’s panties would have K.Michelle twerking to “Pour It Up” in no time.
4. Ice, ice, baby.
It seems like K.Michelle has a colorful imaginary. Just maybe if every time she looks down at blinged out ice cubes on her own private parts she’ll think of how cold, wet and soothing ice cubes feel. The result could not only stand up the tiny hairs on the back of her neck, but send the type of pulsation through her vagina she’s been looking for.
3. All I see is signs, all I see is dollar signs.
Money makes the world go ’round. And in this case gets the juices flowing.
2. He plays the keys.
K.Michelle likes men. K.Michelle loves music. K.Michelle plays the piano. A man playing the piano would have her vagina doing pirouettes. Only one concern: could all of that fit down there?
No disrespect to our fabulous FLOTUS. Sorry, Michelle Obama. K.Michelle said she fantasizes about president Obama. Bedazzle his face down yonder and voila–an awakened woo-ha shall be reborn.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]