Everything Hollywood Taught Us About Vibrators

You probably can't get one at Brookstone.

Using a vibrator can be a scary, intimidating experience. The instructions on the box aren’t always the most thorough (I wouldn’t know from experience but, you know, friends of friends have said…) and your regular Netflix and chill sessions can sadly be serious libido-killers. Luckily, we do have those select movies and shows that show us what good vibes are all about. Check out these vibrator lessons that movies and TV shows have taught us.

  • Unless you’re ready to be scarred for life, avoid your family members’ nightstands. And every closet and/or drawer in the house for that matter. (Parenthood, 1989)

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    Steve Martin’s character accidentally grabs his sister’s vibrating dildo when looking for a flashlight after the power goes out. Not only did the whole family witness it, but a young niece asks: “Mommy, what is that?” Kill me now, please.

  • You can very well fall in love with your vibrator. (Sex and the City, 1998)

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    Even if you can’t introduce them to your mother.

  • But like any relationship, it takes some work. (Sex and the City, 1998)

    HBO

    You really have to open your mind and get to know one another. You may have some confusion at first, but after much communication, there are no issues you two can’t solve together. Dream team.

  • Don’t let the aggressive sound scare you off. In fact, the louder, the better. (The Slums of Beverly Hills, 1998)

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    Violet (Natasha Lyonne) sounds like she’s using a small lawn mower or chainsaw down there, but her face says that the more intense the vibes, the more intense the O. It’s science.

  • There is ALWAYS a chance of getting walked in on. (Not Another Teen Movie, 2001)

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    Sometimes by your family. Or by your priest. Or by the entire neighborhood. That’s a risk you must be willing to take, when it’s not even your birthday.

  • Do not be deceived: A neck massager and vibrator are two very different things. (Sex and the City, 2002)

    HBO

    Face the fact that Brookstone toys just can’t keep up with your needs. The staff will look at you like a crazy person when you demand that you deserve a full refund for your “vibrator.” Ask yourself: Is it worth it?

  • Using a vibe in public can be mortifying, but the rewards outweigh that. (The Ugly Truth, 2009)

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    Better than any glass of wine that fancy restaurant has to offer.

  • Giving a vibrator as a present makes you the greatest friend on the face of the earth. (Easy A, 2010)

    Sony

    When Olive (Emma Stone) got a special gift from her BFF with the note “Go screw yourself,” it was just the most sincere, most moving message of love ever conveyed on the silver screen.

Vibe on, dudes.

makeagif
Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.
@taylorferber