@justinbieber

Kourtney Kardashian and Justin Bieber’s Rumored Fling Is So Huge, CNN Is Scared It’ll Break the Internet

What is happening here.

Just when it seems like tensions are at an all-time high from serious issues like terrorism, climate change and unnecessary violence, leading news organization CNN is telling you to stop everything and listen because the Internet might be breaking. Why? Because Kourtney Kardashian and Justin Bieber are rumored to be dating.

This is literally happening.

To get you caught up, know that the Biebs, a Kardashian family friend with a newfound unquenchable thirst, was allegedly hanging with Kourtney at The Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Friday night. The next morning, Kourt supposedly left the Beverly Hills Hotel The Montage (where the Biebs usually stays) at 4 a.m.

Meanwhile, the singer posted this yesterday, and everyone, including the believed-to-be legit CNN, is losing their s–t.

Lord knows

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

These are big names in showbiz, so I get why the pub would feel the need to report on it. But A. it’s taking a page out of every troll gossip sites’ book with the clickbait-y headline “Is Kourtney Kardashian Dating Justin Bieber?” and B. why is this the first thing I saw on my news feed this morning?

Really? Is this what the world has come to? Will my Grandpa, Italian immigrant and relentless CNN watcher/lover, see this on TV today? Will he know who these people are?

I’m genuinely scared.

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.
@taylorferber