People Who Were Literally You During Obama's State of the Union Address... At the State of the Union Address

I was semi-interested in watching Obama's final State of the Union address tonight, until I remembered politicians tell us whatever we want to hear and professionally blow steam up our asses. At that moment, three-and-a-half minutes in, I already found myself zoning out and dreaming about Popeyes when I realized I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone at all. Attendees in the same room as the leader of our nation couldn't have looked less fazed and I don't feel nearly as bad about myself as I did before. Here are your State of the Union spirit animals, trying just as hard as you were to pay attention.

This man, who's literally using his hand as a prop to keep his sleeping head from falling off his body.

This fashionista who exerted all of her energy on picking a fabulous outfit and has no f---s left to give.

This guy who won't even hide that he's killing it at Candy Crush.

These helpless people, who understand this speech just as we did Inception.

This dude who is livid about missing his GTL session.

This glass of water, minding its own business while everyone else vigorously sits and stands like they're at church.

This team player who has absolutely no idea why he's even clapping right now.

This man who is miraculously sleeping with his eyes open.

This lady texting bae that her body is ready.

This genuinely perplexed gentleman and his eyebrows.

This guy who's all cocky because he actually knows what Obama is talking about for once.

This woman, crying because she's sitting here instead of guzzling wine and watching last night's episode of The Bachelor.

This entire group of pissed off men.

This saint in red who finally gave up on keeping her eyes open.

This poor woman who just can't catch a break tonight.

This man and his internal struggle of wondering why this is two hours long.

This professional daydreamer.

This American patriot who couldn't be any more over this or his country if he tried.

These women combined, when you remember that you cancelled your dinner plans for this.

This man who's wearing pure disgust on his face like the newest Yeezys.

And lastly, this texting icon, sitting enthusiast and rebel.

We are all one.