When most of us break up with someone, we can completely detach from them. We never have to speak or hear from them if we choose. Celebrities aren’t so lucky with their former flames. When an A-lister splits from a famous boo, tabloid scrutiny and Internet chatter make it nearly impossible to make a clean break. And it’s even worse if said A-list couple was beloved AF. In that case, people spend hours praying they’ll get back together. Bye.
These nine celebrities know all about this. Each of them has called it quits with an ex, only to have the Internet ship them months (or even years) later. How is Selena Gomez supposed to get over Justin Bieber in peace when her Instagram is cluttered with #Jelena memes? SHE CAN’T. Let Gomez–and her famous peers we listed below–live, damn it!
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Aniston divorced Brad Pitt in 2004, and Pitt started dating Angelina Jolie shortly after. (It was rumored Pitt cheated on Aniston with Jolie on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but that was never confirmed.) But it’s been 12 years, and the tabloids still frequently report the Friends star is pining after him. When journalists aren’t spewing that narrative, they accuse Jolie and Aniston of having daggers for each other or create some bizarre love triangle. (And that’s funny, because we’re sure A and J have probably said 10 words to each other if that.)
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Gomez’s relationship with Justin Bieber has been the source of tabloid fodder since the turn of the decade, and their subsequent break-up was even more detailed. When the two were spotted hanging out at a Beverly Hills hotel last year, people flipped a s–t. Whenever Gomez posts a sexy selfie on Instagram, people think it is for the Biebs. Gomez told Rolling Stone this year, “I am so beyond done with talking about that, and him,” but we have a feeling the world won’t let her.
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Instagram is the main reason 50 can’t escape from his ex Shaniqua Hopkins. The two frequently clash on the social media site over their son Marquise Jackson, and the media–us included–eat it up. We need help.
Like 50, Ciara can’t seem to escape headlines pitting her against ex-boo Future. But it’s not just the media’s fault. Ciara has subtweeted Future in the past, and Future’s ridiculous Twitter fingers ticked off Ciara so much she took legal action. Now that Ciara is literally engaged to Russell Wilson, maybe we’ll ease off the Future talk for a while. But we doubt it, because the first response for many when they heard the engagement news was what Future thought. SMDH.
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Two words: sex tape. For better or worse, the naughty home video that launched Kardashian’s career will forever bind her to the Love & Hip Hop rapper. (Which explains why Farrah Abraham shaded Kardashian’s sister Kendall Jenner with a Ray J meme.) The porno prevails!
RiRi and Chris Brown were pop’s favorite couple until their tumultuous uncoupling in 2009. Frequent (apparent) reunions and social media shading kept these two linked for years–not to mention a bizarre love triangle with Karrueche Tran. The dust has settled, but that hasn’t stopped the media from inserting Rihanna’s name into any Brown story they can. (Exhibit A.)
Karrueche TranGetty Images
Like RiRi, Tran also can’t escape the ghost of Breezy. The couple broke up eons ago, but people still love asking her about him. There are a handful of headlines pairing the two of them in the past week alone. Let it gooo, people!
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Rose and Kanye West split up six years ago, but they can’t stop talking about each other. There was West’s disgusting comment about needing “30 showers” after dating Rose. But don’t worry, Rose got her revenge after West and her other ex Wiz Khalifa feuded on Twitter. Rose took the opportunity to call West a #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch. Dun, dun, duuun!
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Boy meets girl. Boy and girl star in a wildly successful film franchise. Girl then cheats on boy with a much older director from another movie. Boy and girl break up. The world implodes. That’s not the type of thing the media or public can let go of, as evidenced by the dozens of headlines linking Stewart and Pattinson’s name this month alone.
Madonna and Sean Penn were married for four years and divorced in 1989. Allegations of spousal abuse on Penn’s end plus Madonna’s confession that Penn was her true love in Truth or Dare (1991) kept these two buddy-buddy in the press. Fast-forward to this year, Penn and Madge hung out at charity events and abroad, and the media immediately shipped them. Old habits die hard.
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Whatever, Britney + Justin Timberlake 4ever. These two can’t escape each other, and we hope they never do.