The 2014 Golden Globe Awards are all wrapped up, and we’re about ready to grab our own cocktails after spending the evening watching actors drink. But first, we decided we should probably help those of you who’ve been boozing it up all night remember what was ACTUALLY funny (not just beer goggles funny) about everyone’s favorite drunk awards show. Whether it was laughs scripted for hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, spontaneous live-show errors (sorry, Wolf of Wall Street girl we don’t know) or awesome victory speeches (Matthew McConaughey ftw), the Globes lived up to their reputation. Here we count down the 10 most hilarious moments. (Also, here are the best GIFs of the Golden Globes.)
10. Tina and Amy’s Opening Monologue
The opener started off a little stiff and lacked any expected gimmicks, but loosened up by the bit when they pretended Julia Louis-Dreyfus was snubbing her TV roots and smoking e-cigarettes with Reese Witherspoon in the “film” section. Our favorite line was Amy’s throwaway about 12 Years a Slave: “I will never look at slavery the same way again,” with Tina interjecting, “Wait, how were you looking at it?”
9. Jacqueline Bisset Foils The Censors
It could have been a boring speech about a show (Dancing on the Edge) none of us saw, but the flustered Bisset managed to turn it into much more. The censors thought they were cutting out her curse word, but instead, we heard everything but her “sh–.” We hope the FCC takes her advice: “If you want to look good you’ve got to forgive everybody.”
8. Tina’s “Son” Randy
We thought it was sweet how Kyra Sedwick and Kevin Bacon made a “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” joke when introducing their daughter, Sosie, a.k.a. Miss Golden Globe. And then things got hilarious when Tina stepped in to introduce “Mr. Golden Globe,” her “adult son from a previous relationship” Randy, a.k.a. Amy Poehler as a surly teen whose father might be any man in the room. Not Idris Elba, but possibly Harvey Weinstein. “Jaqueline Bisset’s backstage bothering me,” Randy complained.
7. At Least Jennifer Lawrence Didn’t Insult Meryl Streep
After all those awards last year, you’d think JLaw would have been more relaxed on that stage, accepting the Supporting Actress prize for American Hustle. But no, she was just as adorably flustered as ever. As she tried to show respect for her fellow actresses, she told them, “I actually did watch all of the movies this year — not all of them, but y0u know what I mean.”
6. Diane Keaton Sings For Woody
We were all still wondering why the Hollywood Foreign Press would bother giving its Cecil B. Demille honor to Woody Allen, a man who notoriously doesn’t show up at awards shows, when Diane Keaton gave us the answer: She gives great (and pretty short) acceptance speeches. It was so adorably awkward when she started singing, “Make New Friends,” that we kinda wanted her to keep on going.
5. Emma Thompson Bleeds For Us
We’d been wondering when someone was going to show signs of the open bar when Emma Thompson finally got onstage to present Best Screenplay with her heels in one hand and a martini in the other. We’re pretty sure the drunk thing was an act, but still cheered when she tossed back both the shoes and the drink.
4. Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie Screwed By TelePrompTer
As newbie Margot got a dee-in-headlights look, her Wolf of Wall Street co-star announced, “I’m not going to lie to you right now they put up the wrong stuff on the TelePrompTer.” After someone rescued them with notes on paper, her relief was so huge she got the giggles.
3. Tina Calls It Like It Is, Leo
We were worried that most of the good bits were going to Amy, but Tina got in one of our favorite lines of the evening: “And now, like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”
2. Matthew McConaughey Is All Right, All Right, All Right
He may be getting all the big fancy awards nominations for Dallas Buyer’s Club, but this guy is still L-I-V-I-N. He started his Best Actor in a Drama acceptance speech exactly as we all wished he would, in the voice of Dazed and Confused’s Wooderson. 1. Amy and Bono Makeout Sesh
What was planned: the silly cut to Bono massaging Amy as she was announced as a nominee for Best Actress in TV Comedy. What most likely wasn’t: Her making out with him when she won. You’ve got to make the most of these opportunities when you have them!
What were your favorite Golden Globes moments?