The Workaholics Guide To Getting Ahead At The Office

Comedy Central’s Workaholics Season Four begins tonight. Where will the three brosephs with mediocre to average telemarketing skills end up next? Laying shirtless inside a cockfighting ring with only a jar of pickles and a feather boa to their names? We can only hope.

While the roommates and coworkers know how to party with the best of them, they can also provide some interesting advice you can apply to your own career. To help you rededicate yourselves to your job this year, we’re offering you a look at the plethora of helpful tips Adam (Adam DeVine), Blake (Blake Anderson) and Ders (Anders Holm) have created over three sleazy and wonderful seasons.¬†They may not be guaranteed to get you ahead, but they at least won’t get you fired. (For now.) So… let’s-get-weird!

Carpool Whenever Possible

Not only will this help you get to work on time (or close to), it’ll be fun! Adam, Blake and Ders commute to and from work together every single day. And look how happy they are!

Don’t Be Afraid To Tell Management How You Feel About Your Vacation Policy

Why so shy? Bosses like it when you voice your concerns, so tell them you need more time to make it to your Nana’s house in Dubuque next Thanksgiving… it doesn’t mean they’ll listen.

Have Outside Interests

How else are you expected to stay fresh (and ya gotta be fresh) during office hours? Lucky for Adam, Blake and Ders, wizard rap (and part-time bodybuilding) helps them decompress after a long day at TelAmeriCorp.

Wear Something You Feel Comfortable In

With all due respect to office dress codes, no one can properly analyze data or make cold calls in a constricting button down and neck ties. For Blake, he needs to feel fly as hell in a giant bear coat. So follow Blazer’s lead and just do you.

If Your Colleagues Go On Strike, Join Them

…or else. Stick it to the man, Ders (your dry cleaning bill will thank you!).

Make Sure The Office Knows About Your Enthusiasm For the Holidays


Every department needs a party planning committee and an a cappella troupe.

Take Advantage of Work Perks

Who wants to pay for sugar anyway? Adam needs that sweet, sweet powder.

Remember The Boss’ Breakfast Routine

And get it right. Take it from the bro-js: Alice gets cranky when she hasn’t had her carbs.

Respect Office Property

Treat printers how you would like to be treated (when you’re feeling like you’d rather be anywhere but work).

Follow these tips and you’ll be safely swimming towards middle management in no time. Catch the season premiere of Workaholics tonight at 10 pm ET on Comedy Central.

[Photo Credit: Comedy Central]