From Tampon Ads to Sumo Tea-Bagging: Why Damon Wayans, Jr. and Jake Johnson Are the Baddest Bros Out There

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If you're in love with New Girl's dynamic duo, Damon Wayans, Jr. and Jake Johnson, you’re about to love them even more. VH1 recently sat down with the bromantic stars of Let's Be Cops to learn about hilarious past jobs they’ve had (yes, Jake was in a 2007 tampon commercial), how they work their moves to get the ladies, and what they’d be like as real life roomies (attention ladies: Damon is single AND a neat freak!).

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The two refer to themselves as "the odd couple" and clearly didn't need any liquid courage (see video above) in order for their real life chemistry to resonate on screen. Happy Endings alum Damon was open to discussing what it's like having a stranger’s balls in his face, while Jake didn't shy away from answering why he always seems to bet getting these “slacker” roles. After a hilarious chat we know one thing is certain: As two down-to-earth Hollywood guys, they aren’t taking themselves too seriously on their way to stardom. They’re even hotter now than we previously thought — if that’s even possible.

VH1: In Let’s Be Cops, your roles are almost opposite of your New Girl characters. Damon is more reserved and Jake’s role is out there and more adventurous. Is this how you would describe your dynamic in real life?

Jake Johnson: I think we’re both a combination of the two.

Damon Wayans, Jr.: We’re both goofy at times, most of the time. But we can definitely get tired and we get cranky.

Really? Don’t know if we could see that.

DW: I mean we’re quiet cranks, not going around saying “F--k you, f--k you”… We just keep to ourselves. Jake’s the one who needs the hugs. I don’t need the hugs.

JJ: I need physical affirmations a lot. When I’m feeling low I just need to feel the warmth, if you will.

DW: It’s understandable, but at the same time it’s like, “Dude, I just gave you a hug like two minutes ago.”

JJ: There are times when I’m a million miles away and I hate that feeling of being alone.

You just want to feel the love.

DW: Yeah, that’s why I do it. Because at the end of the day, I’m trying to make a good product. It’s all business for me, really.

JJ: Oh, f--k you! [Laughs]

Take away the cop uniforms for a second: What are your go-to pickup lines?

DW: Excuse me, miss? My penis is running from the cops, it needs to hide inside of you.

In addition to playing roommates in New Girl, you live together in this movie. If you lived together in real life, which one of you would be neat and which one would be leaving pizza boxes around?

DW: I’m kind of a neat freak. I’m kind of OCD about it, so I’d definitely be neat. I don’t know about Jake…

JJ: I’m really messy! We’re the odd couple!

DW: I’d be cleaning up after this woman.

Jake, in the movie you do a herpes ad. Are there any funny or unusual jobs you guys have had that you may regret now?

JJ: I don’t regret it, but I was in a Tampax ad when I played the “before” guy. I represented the tampon before they upgraded to the Tampax Pearl. I was the guy you date when you used the stinky, old, plastic tampons before you had the new ones.

DW: Does community service count?

Sure.

DW: I unusually had to clean up half of the Pacific Ocean and the beaches. That was pretty unusual, I would never do that.

How come?

DW: Because I don’t like sand in between my toes. I hate sand. That’s just a little somethin’ about me.

More of a pool guy than a beach guy…

DW: Definitely more of a pool guy. Even though I’m lifeguard certified.

Speaking of unusual jobs, Damon, what was it like shooting that one scene in Cops where a huge man’s genitals were in your face?

DW: Did you laugh?

Yes.

DW: Or throw up?

Laughed. But at the same time wondered: How did he even shoot that?

DW: Honestly, it was a nightmare. I did not enjoy doing it. But I knew that it was going to solidify us as a rated R movie if it were to be successful, so we did it. It turned out really funny and then they were like, "OK, it’s going to be rated R." It was basically us convincing them that it should be rated R, and we succeeded... It was pretty gross, you know. There was a penis on my face. I don’t know how to describe it other than I would never do that again. Unless it was funny.

Are you scarred for life?

DW: I’m definitely scarred for life. I looked into another man’s butthole. So, yeah. As long as it was worth it.

Besides a cop, what would be the ultimate sexy man costume to get the ladies at Halloween?

DW: Good question. A doctor. Girls love doctors. Jake would be a proctologist.

Any teasers for what we can expect from New Girl when it returns this fall? Possibly a Nick and Jess reunion?

JJ: We don’t have any answers to that yet because the writers keep us in the dark.

DW: It’s like we’re audience members.

Do you like the not knowing?

JJ: Yeah, it is, it’s pretty interesting. Except for answering these kinds of questions, because we don’t know anything.

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Speaking of New Girl, one thing I noticed in Cops is that your roles are very similar: 30-somethings in L.A., trying to make it and find their purpose. Is there a reason you’re drawn to these sorts of roles? Where do you get your inspiration from in real life because you’re both obviously extremely successful?

JJ: That’s nice of you to say. You kind of go with what you’re offered. Damon and I haven’t been in a point of our careers where you can kind of just make or break your own stuff so this movie was a really unique experience because we got to work with each other and we were able to improvise. And so Damon and I are getting cast right now as guys in their early 30s who haven’t quite done what they want to do yet. So, you kind of take what you’re given and you sort of make the best of it. There are parts that I find interesting and that I can relate to. But in the same sense, you try to find the best option that’s in front of you, if it’s something you can try to make work. And we thought, we’re in this together and if we’re allowed to improvise we can make it work.

Do you feel like you identify with these characters?

JJ: Of course. Everybody can identify with the underdog at some point or time in their life. Except maybe like Bill Gates or somebody.

What would be both of your dream roles to play?

DW: Some type of superhero would be pretty cool. Black Hulk? I’d watch Black Hulk.

Damon, you could be the first.

JJ: Yeah, I’d watch it for sure.

DW: Black Hulk, Black Thor, it’d be black anything, you know?

I think you’re onto something right now…

DW: [Laughs] Black Spider-man. Black Spider-man would be dope.

We’re huge fans of Happy Endings. Is there anything you want to say to your fans that love and miss the show?

DW: Really appreciate all of my fans who love the show and go see Let’s Be Cops, I say a lot of things in the movie that I said in Happy Endings.

Reminisce about the best of Brad Williams with this video:

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]