The best thing about 2014 is that it’s almost over. Alright, so this past year wasn’t entirely terrible (it did, after all, give us everything from “Adele Dazeem” to Dancing Baby Groot) but there were so many disappointing, dumb, or downright awful moments that happened in culture, we’d rather just lock them up in 2014 and keep them there forever. As we look forward to 2015, we’re looking back at the things that happened over the past year that we’re going to keep in the past.
Photo Leaks and Email Hacks
The Internet can be a pretty great place (see: sad ropes course Kanye memes, “Too Many Cooks,” this very website), but 2014 once again proved — in horrifying fashion — that it can be a really terrible place, too. Back in August, hackers stole and leaked nude photos of some of Hollywood’s top female stars, including Kate Upton, Kirsten Dunst, and Jennifer Lawrence. The leaked photos were not only a gross invasion of privacy, but as Lawrence herself put it, “a sex crime.” More recently, the cyberattack launched on Sony by North Korea lead to leaked emails and, subsequently, the controversial decision to shelve release of the Seth Rogen-James Franco comedy The Interview after war-like threats were made. (Theaters eventually agreed to show The Interview and Sony made the film available online on Dec 24.) We know that, sadly, this is hardly the end of hacks and leaks, but if we could leave only one thing behind in 2014 and make it stay there, it’d be this.
Truth be told, we probably should have left Thicke (and “Blurred Lines”) back in 2013, if only to have him, his estranged wife Paula Patton, and all of us avoid the misery and embarrassment that this year brought. Thicke spent the majority of 2014 trying to win back Patton (it didn’t work) and released one of this year’s biggest flops, Paula, which sold only 24,000 copies in its first week.
The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover
Some rivalries should always remain rivalries. Case in point: the depressing, aggressively unfunny crossover of former animated foes The Simpsons and Family Guy. Fans on both sides were disappointed, thanks to what turned out to be one of the worst episodes of television all year. Seriously, when was the last time a TV crossover even worked? Certainly not in 2014.
Shia LaBeouf’s Various Meltdowns
Shia LaBeouf isn’t famous anymore, but you sure wouldn’t know it. The Fury star was everywhere in 2014, from causing a drunken scene and getting arrested at Cabaret in New York City to his controversial #IAMSORRY art show in Los Angeles. Hopefully LaBeouf gets the help he needs in 2015, and leaves his bizarre, traumatic 2014 behind.
The Ending of How I Met Your Mother
After nine long seasons, fans of How I Met Your Mother tuned in to the series finale to see the long-awaited mother Tracy (poor, poor Cristin Milioti) get killed off so that Ted could get permission from his kids to go back to hooking up with Robin (ew). The titular Mother, this once-great sitcom, but most especially, the patient fans of the series, deserved a much better send-off than this.
The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was one of the worst-reviewed movies of 2014, which makes sense considering it was an utterly joyless and wildly idiotic action-adventure that turned once-beloved ’80s characters into terrifying modern mistakes in a half-shell. Leave it to Michael Bay (one of the movie’s producers) to continue to make the moviegoing experience into one big, pointless headache. Lets just all collectively forget the 2014 Turtles ever happened, and just remember the ones from our childhood.
Kim Kardashian Magazine CoversKim Kardashian didn’t break the Internet (as promised) with her scandalous Paper cover, but we almost wish she had. The cover which launched a thousand memes and think pieces made us long for the days earlier this year when we only had to deal with her Vogue wedding cover with Kanye West. Those were simpler times.
The Eaten Alive Letdown
Just a word for Discovery: don’t call a two-hour special Eaten Alive and promise that some schmo (in this case, Paul Rosolie) will, in fact, be eaten alive by a giant anaconda, only to have said schmo getting squeezed uncomfortably by a giant anaconda. False advertising doesn’t even begin to describe this monumental letdown of a stunt.
Gary Oldman’s Playboy Interview
There was a whole lot of foot-in-mouth syndrome going around in Hollywood in 2014 (looking right at you, Aaron Sorkin) and sadly Oldman joined those ranks, too. The actor gave an interview to Playboy in which he defended the anti-gay and anti-Semitic quotes and actions made by fellow stars Alec Baldwin and Mel Gibson. “Gibson is in a town that’s run by Jews and he said the wrong thing because he’s actually bitten the hand that I guess has fed him,” was just one of eye-rolling quotes from Oldman in the interview. Oldman eventually apologized for the remarks, but it still will go down as the year we all collectively went, “Aw man, Sirius Black, you too?!”
“Rude” By Magic!
“Why you gotta be so rude?/Band that gave us this ubiquitous tuuu-uuune.”
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]