Recently we learned that our beloved Mindy Kaling has a real a–hole for a brother, one who doesn’t quite understand racism or how to properly perform experiments (it doesn’t count as this major discovery if you apply to all different schools and not to the same school twice under different ethnicities, JoJo). But Mindy’s not the only celeb with an embarrassing sibling to her name. Here are some other poor unfortunate famous souls whose siblings make us treasure our own brothers and sisters.
Barron and Conrad HiltonHonestly, who saw it coming that Paris and Nicky wouldn’t be the most embarrassing Hiltons? First, back in 2008, Barron hit a gas station attendant with his car while driving drunk (he claimed amnesia). Then in 2013, he claimed that Lindsay Lohan ordered a hit on him at a club. Earlier this year, Conrad was arrested for a 2014 incident on a flight where he beat up the plane, made children cry, made the bathroom reek of weed, and most famously yelled (among other things), “I will f–king own anyone on this flight; they are f–king peasants.” These boys almost make us long for the glory days of The Simple Life.
Dane Cook isn’t exactly a majorly respected individual, but his half-brother makes him look like a true hero. While serving as Cook’s business manager, McCauley and his wife stole $12 million from the comedian. That’s a real su-fi to the face.
Tove ChristensenDid you know that Hayden Christensen has a brother who’s a producer? He does! Did you know that this brother once dragged his girlfriend 30 feet as she clung to his car? He did! Ugh. What a swell guy. That is definitely worse than the Star Wars prequels.
John Draper WitherspoonReese Witherspoon is a Hollywood sweetheart we still love even despite her pulling the “do you know who I am?” card when she was pulled over. Her brother on the other hand… In 2002, John Draper Witherspoon broke into a neighbor’s house and sexually assaulted her while she slept. Shockingly, he and Reese are still tight.
Tyka NelsonPrince’s sister Tyka was a singer in her own right who had a minor hit with an ode to her imaginary boyfriend, “Marc Anthony’s Tune”, which is the ’80sest soft jam you’ll hear all day. She also wore a watch set to “Marc Anthony’s time” and had a stuffed dinosaur she’d drag around on a leash when she did interviews. She now blames a crack addiction for this behavior but you have to admit a pet stuffed dinosaur is massively delightful, especially compared to sex offenders and Hilton brothers.
Daniel BaldwinLook, the Baldwins all have their quirks and moments. But Daniel pretty much wins in the family embarrassment department. (Stephen, you owe him a fruit basket or something.) This is the very first line of the “Addictions and Arrests” section of his Wikipedia page: “In 1998, Baldwin was found running naked through the halls of New York’s Plaza Hotel shouting ’Baldwin!’ and was arrested for possession of cocaine.” So that about sums that up. He’s been arrested several times — once for stealing a car — and got kicked off Celebrity Rehab for sending inappropriate texts to Mary Carey.
Matthew NolanChristopher Nolan’s brother may have been a contract killer. We won’t say anything more. We don’t want him finding us.
The Gossip Table has more on how Kaling’s brother is making headlines.
[Photo Credit: @reesewitherspoon]