Dating doesn’t have to be nearly as intimidating as you think it is if you just trust your gut and exercise smart swiping on apps. The beauty of dating via technology is that you know what you’re workin’ with upfront. Bad first dates and unwanted dick pics can and will be averted. That is, if you want them to be. (We’re referring to the latter.)
Whether you’d like to admit it or not, we all become Shallow Hal when we’re in swipe mode. Even the living Mother Teresas of the world get speedy fingers on dating apps. But beyond looks, there are some serious grenades in dating app profiles that should probably be avoided at all costs. After all, do you really want to be with a dude who kisses his biceps when he says his prayers at night? Or someone who has a questionable love and devotion to their pets? Exactly. Avoid these dating profile bombs below and you’ll be in the clear, wine and dined on by a true bae in no time.
Many shirtless/nearly shirtless mirror selfies.
If you look at yourself more than you look at me, that’s a problem.
If they are in none-literally none-of the photos.
If all I see is your ant-sized body on top of a mountain, I’m going find it and throw my phone off of it.
When a dude is swarmed by chicks in all of the pics.
Trynna prove something, bro?
All you see is their pets.
So are you dating your dog, or???
They only have pics of themselves with the entire family.
Unless I’m psychic, how the hell am I supposed to know which one you are?
They can’t stop flexing.
We get it, you workout. Now either pick me up with that arm or pass me a burger.
They have photos with a small child.
Your kid or nah? Are you a pedophile? Too many questions I don’t want the answers to.
They’re Peter Pan in real life.
It’s all fun and games until they tell you they sleep with Buzz Lightyear sheets. True story.
Bio has a thought-provoking quote.
OK, you’re not Socrates. And Tinder is not that deep. At least not in that way.
Or a cheesy pickup line.
Favorite activities include “long walks on the beach.”
You’re now dealing with the most unoriginal person in the universe because this cliche was funny until it wasn’t, 7,329 years ago. This is the only exception.
They brag about their bougie lifestyle.
Are you P. Diddy? Beyonce and Jay-Z? All of the Kardashians? Wow, that’s impressive then.
They’re literally naked.
This is moving super quickly.
If you need further swiping guidance, see the below as three women try some of the newest apps out there: