Gwyneth Paltrow Claims the Man She Had Sex and Babies With Is Now “Like [a] Brother”

Did they recently relocate to West Virginia or am I missing something?

It’s a little weird to refer to someone who once penetrated you as a “brother.” Admit it: a little weird.

This comes from someone whose ex-boyfriend was her best friend for years. But I would still watch Tyga music videos on repeat for a day straight before I would ever think to call him a brother.

The one-and-only Gwyneth Paltrow and I aren’t really seeing eye-to-eye. Today, the Goop owner told Matt Lauer that her “conscious uncoupling” from Chris Martin in 2014 is going so well, they’re practically blood. She says the two and their kids Apple (11) and Moses (9) are a “true family” even though she and Chris are no longer “in a romantic relationship.”

All was well and merry… and then this happened: “He’s like my brother. I’m very close to him.”


Maybe I’m being judgey, but maybe this is actually weirder than SpongeBob and all of his conspiracy theories combined. Keep in mind, these two haven’t even officially divorced yet. While I’m happy for Gwyn and the fam, I’m not from West Virginia, and therefore can’t help but think this takes their one big happiness a little too far.

Like, is her technically-still-husband/brother now Uncle Chris to the kids? Nah? I don’t know.

Watch the Today interview below and soak in the strangeness.

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Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.