Yesterday’s press conference was further proof that Sunday is a Beyoncé concert with a little bit of athletic competition on the side. With all that’s been said–and repeatedly questioned–about her potential lip-synching last week, along with the halftime show’s ability to ignite minor scandals family-first viewers can’t seem to let go of (wave hello, M.I.A.!) we thought it was only to fair to compose of list of things that could happen during the big show–as well a handful of dream scenarios we desperately hope will come true, but are willing to settle for having play out in our twisted minds until the end of time.
We’re still a few days away from kickoff, so why not play along at home? Do your homework, keep track of this list during the show, and tell us if we are brilliant or simply outstanding for putting this all together come Monday morning.
Because we think we know Bey pretty well by now, here are our official predictions for Sunday’s performance, including more than one long-shot.
1.Beyoncé will not wear pants.
Because, really, when was the last time she did?
2. Beyoncé’s outfit will feature the team logos of both the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens, in effort not to influence the referees.
3. CBS announcers will introduce the halftime show by rehashing the Beyontroversy in the lamest way possible.
4. Beyoncé will rip out TWO earpieces.
5. Beyoncé will perform “Crazy In Love”...
6. …with Jay-Z.
7. Her lady band (The Suga Mamas) will get some well-deserved camera love.
8. A Destiny’s Child reunion WILL go down.
10. Beyoncé will ask the crowd, “NEW ORLEANS HOW Y’ALL FEELING?”
11. Jay-Z and Kanye West will jump on stage and lift Blue Ivy to the sky, à la The Lion King’s “Circle of Life.”
12. Kim Kardashian will feel neglected in her VIP suite and start having flashbacks to her time with former New Orleans Saints star Reggie Bush.
13. Beyoncé will omit “Houston rocket!” from “Countdown” as not to seem bitter about the Texans’ early exit from the NFL playoffs.
14. Beyoncé WILL PERFORM A NEW SONG FROM HER FIFTH ALBUM. (All-caps means we really, really want this to be true.)
15. Beyoncé will drop the mic.
Even though his beloved Pack isn’t playing, we know he can’t resist taking part in a live sporting event.
17. Beyoncé will wear fringe, sequins, or a Mardi Gras mask with feathers.
18. Beyoncé will make ’em say ughhhhh as a tribute to the late No Limit Records.
19. To show support for New Orleans, as well as the network that’s airing her documentary, Beyoncé’s performance will end by plugging the fourth and final season of Treme.
21. Beyoncé will use the phrase “Bling Bling.”
22. Blue, white, and yellow toothbrushes will be thrown on stage.
23. Justin Timberlake will stop by, help Beyoncé unveil that new song off her fifth album, and then rip off her top. (Not again!)
24. Beyoncé will give the stage to Jay Electronica so he can finally debut his much-awaited first single.
25. Beyoncé will sing LIVE.