Why Being a Trainwreck Is a Phenomenal Life to Lead

Don't hate us 'cause you ain't us.

We’ve already discussed the fine generation known as the millennials. But the millenial is only a sub-breed of the trainwreck. The trainwreck, which knows no age, can be described by this solid definition from Urban Dictionary:

Urban Dictionary

Indeed. Lucky for us, there have been many trainwreck icons to aspire to be in our time, such as Holly Golightly and Carrie Bradshaw (depending on the episode of Sex and the City). This Friday, we get another, when comedy queen Amy Schumer’s new flick Trainwreck opens. Her character, like all of these women, encompasses the mentality of accepting and embracing one’s lack of monogamy, little cares to give, and the overall lifestyle of a trainwreck. If you aren’t one, or weren’t for at least some time in your life, you’re missing out big-time. Here’s why:

  • You’re single as shit, but you’re sort of fine with it.

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    Seeing engagements and babies on Facebook make you want to play a spontaneous game of RL Frogger in the Lincoln Tunnel, but you know your Channing Tatum is waiting for you and you can’t wait to post the shit out of it and get the revenge you deserve.

  • You can do whatever you feel like, when you feel like it.

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    If I had to revolve my schedule around someone else right now, I’d have minimal time to stare at my friends, binge-watch Lost, and eat my feelings. In other words, I’m pissed.

  • You think you like this person, but do you though?

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    There are just so many factors to consider, I mean, we’re not going to leave the trainwreck lifestyle behind for just anyone. Who do you think you are, anyway?

  • Even if you despise your job, you rock that bitch.

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    Fun some days, mind-numbing others. You’re not completely sure what you want to do with your life, but you’re just living right now.

  • You’re rich and poor at the same time.

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    Your financial game isn’t the strongest right now, but you’re rich in life experience, drunken bonding, and sexual experimentation. *Emotions*

  • You’re financially independent, though, so suck it, haters.

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    Probably because your parents got sick of your crap and cut you off by now, but shhh, no one needs to know. Plus, you need your own money to do things like drink and drink some more.

  • You’re also a great balance of optimistic and pessimistic.

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    We’re glass half-full people, half the time. One minute you can’t wait to be courted by Prince Charming, the other you’re convinced you’ll be eaten by your cats. Depends on the day.

  • While most people despise hangovers, you’ve grown to sort of love them as well.

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    It gives you time to reflect on the awful decisions you made that were also extremely personally rewarding. You take this time to entertain yourself and friends—who are fellow trainwrecks—with your stories.

  • It’s kind of fun recognizing how big of a mess you are.

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    Because it shows how little you take yourself seriously. And on some level, you’re hoping one day you’ll prove everyone—and yourself—wrong with your fantastic life that will probably be a real-life portrayal of a Nicholas Sparks novel.

  • And realizing the trainwreck support system is unmatched.

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    We just all understand and support each other’s terrible life choices and it’s really a beautiful thing.

  • This is a judge-free zone, guys.

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    Because, let’s be honest, who are we to judge?

  • All in all, your outlook on life is summed up by this meme:

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    Making the world a brighter place, one wreck at a time.

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.
@taylorferber