Music

Happy 27th Birthday, Lady Gaga! Here Are 27 Reasons We’ll Never Forget The Recovering Mother Monster

by 3/28/2013

Baby, she was born this day! Lady Gaga has been out of commission for a few months while she recovers from hip surgery, and we’ve definitely been feeling the absence of our beloved Mother Monster.

While she may be off the front lines for a spell, that doesn’t mean she’s far from our minds. You never forget a gal who wore a dress made of meat, after all. So in honor of the Fame Queen’s 27th birthday, we;d like to 27 of the reasons why we’ll never forget Lady Gaga. Enjoy!

1. There’s Might Be A Lord Gaga In The Picture Very Soon

[Photo: Getty Images]

We don’t want to speak too soon, but there have been rumors that Lady Gaga is planning to tie the knot with her boyfriend Taylor Kinney in the very near future.Will that make his official title Lord Gaga? Just the thought of trying to imagine a Momma Monster Wedding is enough to make our heads explode in a cloud of glitter. WE WANT PIX!

2. She Knows How To Really “Get Down” In The Studio (We Mean Sex)

[Photo: Getty Images]

Gaga warned her then-assistant against coming to the recording studio, because apparently she was having private moments with her BF. “Stefani just said, you know, we’re having sex at the studio so I don’t know if you want to be there for that,” the ex-assistant revealed, referring to Gaga’s real name, Stefani Germanotta. “She never told me not to come. She just told me what was happening, and I came to my own conclusions that I would prefer not to watch.” It’ll definitely make things interesting when we listen to…

3. Her New Album, ARTPOP!

[Photo: Twitter]

Songs for the new album were”beginning to flourish” in 2012, and it’s set for release this fall! Coupled with a duets  jazz album with Tony Bennett, we’ve got lots of new Gaga tracks to hear! We’ll just try to separate those studio-sex thoughts from the Tony Bennett thoughts…

 4. She Named Her Wheelchair

[Photo: Splash News]

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Emma. This is Lady Gaga’s companion while she recovers from her hip injury. Pretty swanky, huh? Yup, that’s 24-karat gold plate!

5. She Requires A Mannequin With Puffy Pink Public Hair In Order To Perform…

[Photo: Getty Images]

 Just one of the many incredible things on her show rider. In addition to the nude mannequin, she required the following on her 2010 Monster’s Ball World Tour: “Glam rock, Black, Silver statins dropped over walls Old Rock Posters from her favorite artists Bowie, Queen, Elton, Billy Joel, Billy Holiday Her favorite fan art that was kept on the road with us.” Or course she also put in an ask for some Jameson Irish Whiskey, bottles of “good” red and white wine, and water. But not just any water: 28 bottles at room temperature, and 28 bottles cold.

6. Which Accounts For Her Pants-Rippingly Good Shows

[Photo: Splash News]

The consummate show-lady, Gaga’s pants split during a performance in Vancouver, and she kept right on truckin’.

7. She Offers Free Counseling To Little Monsters In Need Before Her Shows

In case you need another reason why she’s the best, Lady Gaga has made counselors available to her fans during the pre-show of her Born This Way tours, in the form of the Born Brave Buses. “The Born Brave Bus is a place where mental health + depression are taken seriously w/ no judgement, FREE real help available to all” Gaga explained. “I feel like most kids don’t look for help because they feel embarrassed so mom + I wanted to break the stigmas around ’help’ and make it fun.”

8. She’s Thankful For Her Little Monster Fans

[Photo: Splash News]

In case that isn’t already obvious, she even let 35 unexpected Little Monster guests into her home on Thanksgiving!

9. And She’s A Pretty Good Soccer Player To Boot!

[Photo: Splash News]

Gags took time to play a little futball with her Brazilian fans over the summer, giving Pele a run for his money.

10. She Gets Naked. A Lot

[Photo: Twitter]

 And tweets about it, no less.

11. She Knows How To Make An Entrance

[Photo: Getty Images]

Grammys 2011. Need we say more?

12. Her Perfume Has Hints Of Blood And Semen

OK, we’re sure it doesn’t really. But that was the rumor she put around!

13. She Handles Those Weight-Gain Critics Like A BOSS

[Photo: Twitter]

What the hell is wrong with people? Lady Gaga showed of a slightly fuller figure what on tour in Europe last summer, which caused some folks to get a little snippy. So what did Gaga do? She bared it all on Twitter to prove that she’s just as beautiful as ever! Let’s start the Body Revolution!

14. They’ve Tried To Ban Her In Several Countries

[Photo: Getty Images]

Yup! Indonesia, The Philippines, protests in South Korea: They’ve all made moves to gag the Gags. They don’t do that to just any celeb!

 15. Her Beauty Secrets? Spinach And Sex!

Ever wonder how Lady Gaga keeps that youthful glow on her skin? A healthy diet of “orgasms and spinach,” according to an interview in Elle Magazine.

16. She Surfs!

[Photo: Splash Images]

Come on, it sounds run-of-the-mill, but that’s way more badass than anything you (or we) do.

17. She’s The First Person To Break 25 Million Twitter Followers

OK, Justin Bieber has since broken her record, but it’s still a first! She was also the Queen of YouTube for a spell, too.

18. She Pees In Trashcans To Save Time

[Photo: Getty Images]

“I do quite often pee in the dressing room, in the trash can,” she told British TV host Alan Carr. “It would have been an interesting photo today because I had a big pink bow on, and I was over the trash can.”

19. She Wants To Become Ordained So She Can Marry Her Gay Friends

[Photo: Getty Images]

She might want to consider getting a new outfit, however…

20. She’s God-Monster To Elton John’s Son

[Photo: Getty Images]

Errr, we mean godmother. “When you get to the real person under there, there’s a real simple person under there who loves her parents,” insisted Captain Fantastic.

21. “The Edge Of Glory” Google Chrome Commercial

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