You better Beliebe it! It’s seems like only yesterday we were making jokes about Justin Bieber never going through puberty, and now today he’s turning 19, officially making it the last year we can refer to him as a “teen sensation.” Time does fly, but he sure has come of age in his one year of legal adulthood!
Don’t believe us? Well we’ve got 19 reasons that prove that Justin Bieber isn’t just a kid anymore. Check ’em out!
1. His Penis Gets Its Very Own Nickname On Twitter
Yup, apparently his fans have bestowed the name “Jerry” on the Bieb’s junk. Huzzah.
2. He Became A High School Graduate
“I passed my test –– I’m free,” he told Britain’s Daily Telegraph newspaper.”It was hard doing school and work everyday.” The multi-talented teen admitted that academics aren’t really his thing. “I’ve been able to travel the world,” he says. “At school, usually you have to do a lot of writing and reading. I’m really not into that stuff. I like to be out there.”
3. His Fans Caused A National Emergency In Norway
We’ve heard of Bieber-Mania, but we never knew it was enough to totally disrupt a country. Today Norway, tomorrow the world!
4. He Goes On His First Major High Speed Highway Chase
Justin Bieber pushed his $100,000 Ferrari to its limits after being ticketed for going 80 MPH to try to outrun a photographer. “If I was on patrol, I would have arrested him for reckless driving,” said a councilman who witnessed the chase. “I was going 60 and he drove by me like he was in a rocket ship. He was a maniac.”
5. He Pukes During Performance, Discovers That Milk Is Always A Bad Choice
Right in the middle of “Believe,” JB tossed his cookies live on stage in Glendale, Arizona. A rite of passage for any performer, we’re sure!
6. He Was Photographed Playing *Gasp* Beer Pong!
Yeah, we guess he’s more like a normal teen than we thought.
7. He Posed For This Very Un-Kid-Friendly Cover For Complex Magazine
What the hell? Why did they beat up the Biebs?! Poor guy. Maybe that’s why he went on to…
8. He Takes Boxing Lessons From Mike Tyson
We’re sorry, but Mike Tyson should not be around impressionable youngsters. We can’t be certain, but we have a feeling that these lessons directly contributed to this next point…
9. He Gets Accused Of Beating Up A Photographer
That’s right, a grown man sued an 18-year-old for allegedly beating him up. Let’s hope he can buy back his street cred with that settlement money.
10. He Appears In Nicki Minaj’s Pool Party Video, “Beauty And The Beat”
Yes, the clip features Bieber by a pool filled with gyrating women in bikinis. It’s no longer illegal, but it’s still unsettling.
11. He Wrote A Song About His Alleged Baby Mama, Mariah Yeater
There comes a time in every man’s life where he must learn to deal with false paternity claims in a mature way. Luckily Bieber has done just that, penning a song for his accuser. Charming!
12. His “Penis Enhancement” Lawsuit
Or should we say his “Jerry Enhancement”? A man claiming to be Selena Gomez’s dad filed a lawsuit insisting that Bieber stole his American Express card to pay for, among other things, an abortion and a penis enhancement. It doesn’t get much more grown up than that! BTW, there’s no way this is true.
13. He Parties With Victoria’s Secret Angels
While performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, Justin Bieber apparently hit it off with Angel Barbara Palvin. How close, you ask? We’re not sure, but apparently it caused a rift with then-girlfriend Selena Gomez…
14. He Got A Sitcom Based Around His Life
Yup, ABC is apparently developing a TV show based around the lives and times of the teen super star. We’re imagining boy Hannah Montana? It may sound crazy, but he did write his autobiography at 17, so anything can happen.
15. He Causes Controversy With His Religious Tattoo
Most of the controversy is over whether or not it’s really ugly, but still. His many Christian-themed tattoos have raised eyebrows on some of his more conservative fans.
Act of a grown up, or act of a child? You be the judge.
17. His Abs Have Reached Mannequin Levels
Seriously man, those are some grown up abs, anyway you look at it. To prove his point, Jimmy Fallon brought out a perfectly sculpted department store dummy. Those six packs are identical.
18. Photos Surfaces Of Bieber Smoking Pot
Sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll (or we’ll settle for “Baby”). What else is new? But he soon “apologized” for the bad influence on his fans by firing off a contrite Tweet. Double grown-up points!
19. His New Album “Believe”
Seriously, have you heard this thing? It ain’t bad! There, we said it….It’s enough to make closet Beliebers out of all of us.