Chrissy Teigen Recaps Model Employee Episode Six: If You Can’t Take The Heat, Get The Heck Out Of The Kitchen

Despite the amount of icing and pastels, all was not sunshine and rainbows on Model Employee this week. Another model was sent home, which means it’s time for host Chrissy Teigen to give us her thoughts on all the heat that was coming out of the Mandalay Bay kitchen.

As always, Chrissy brings the major LOLs. Take it away, Chrissy.

Mannnn. One of my favorite things to do is read other people’s takes on the show. People are notttttt happy that Aspen was sent home! You know what is also really fun?? Following these ladies on Twitter–seriously. I thought *I* was bonkers.

It’s interesting to see how people deal with the scrutiny that comes with putting yourself on television. The general public can be brutal but these girls seem to have a lot of fun with it so here, FOLLOW THEM NOW and watch them throw it right back on Wednesdays: Alexis Farmer, Aspen Brandy Lea, Brit Tranckino, Jassmine Sasha Amos, Johanna Da Ru, Shah Granville, Shannone Holt, and Sonja Ewy.

The show opens with the girls at…what the hell?? They have their own pool? I seriously had no idea until just now. Anyhow, Jassmine and Shah feel like that is the perfect time to head to a different corner of the pool and talk about Johanna. I feel like I am scared to talk about Johanna and we live in different states. They both want her out.

Back in the house, Britany sits down with the girls to talk about bullying. And what the hell, Shannone! Is your pillow wearing a tank top? I love that Shannone always has some weird s–t in the background of her. I am gonna make this into a drinking game now. First it was Clorox wipes in the tub and now her pillow is wearing a tank top. OK so back to bullying: Britany feels that there is bullying. While I don’t think anyone necessarily is a bully, I do think that Britany is sensitive and an extremely easy target. Plus, we have to realize what we are dealing with here: a reality competition show with eight women in one house. People are going to play a little dirty and be a little bitchy. I’m sure competitiveness mixed with bitchy mixed with some very strong personalities can FEEL like bullying, especially when you’re the soft one.

Then… ay yi yi. Cut to the girls getting ready for bed and Britany comes out to make a statement that I actually feel like I would make. Basically, “Hey bitches we are all living together in close quarters and we should maybe try and make an effort to be decent human beings” and that would go for me as well. Then Shah calls her a pathological liar which confuses me because, well, maybe she is and I have been tricked, too?? All I know is that I hate hate hate confrontation. I KNOW RIGHT? It seems like I love it but I would honestly be very taken aback if someone just wanted to start s–t after a pretty harmless statement like that. But perhaps Britany is a lot more malicious than we think? Clearly these girls were seeing something many of us weren’t. I mean, sure, she makes some pretty kooky statements and can sound kind of medicated (join the club) but damn, these girls do not like her.

FAST FORWARD to the challenge: Kurt asks the girls to head up to the bridal suite where yours truly introduces them to Ronnie, and oh man I loved Ronnie. Ronnie seemed like she could get down and party and would take your drunk ass up to bed and tuck you in then sneak back out and continue to own the town until the wee hours. But alas, Ronnie is getting married to celebrity chef Rick Moonen and those crazy days that I completely made up are behind her.

The girls meet Mandalay Bay’s handsome devil executive pastry chef, Vincent. They are to each bake, design, and decorate four dozen cupcakes and bring them back up to the bridal suite to present to Ronnie for her bridal shower. The cupcakes would ideally represent Ronnie, Rick and their personalities in some way.

I looooooove cooking but oh man, I CANNOT bake. You have to be so damn precise when baking and being accurate just doesn’t mix with my love of red wine. And don’t even get me started on the conversions the girls had to do. MATH. I am so bad at math.

At one point, Vincent offers Shah a job because she is kicking ass. Actually, Shah rarely speaks on twitter anymore and I’ve been wondering where she is. Maybe she is working at the Mandalay Bay with Vincent. Oh, that would be awesome.

Then one girl goes missing. I WONDER WHO. ANY GUESSES? Yes. Good job. It’s Brit, and she is crying to Vanessa about Shah calling her a sociopath and blah blah just make the cupcakes alright?? Save it for judging.

Some of the girls actually have some REALLY beautiful cupcakes. Apparently decorating was a piece of cake (AHAHAHAAH) but the actual carrying of the cupcakes up to the bridal suite proved to be a challenge. I would cry if I made four dozen (or four baker’s dozens, if you’re Brit) and they fell on the freaking floor. Ronnie says there was definitely one set of cupcakes that would make her cry tears of sadness if they were at her bridal shower.

Back up in the model’s penthouse, guess what? More fighting. More talks of bullying. I don’t even know who likes who anymore. I also don’t know what the big deal is. Why the fighting? Why the crying? I can’t imagine letting this s–t get me this upset but who knows. We did put them into some close quarters and shoved cameras in their faces for a month.

The deliberation room starts out really light and fun. Jassmine admits that the reason she worked alone was because she tends to be on the losing team, Johanna gives her signature “HIIIIIIIII” that I could hear in my head for months after filming, and Alexis gets kudos for killing the creepy-flirty gatekeeper reward challenge from last week.

Then Shah. Oy. Definitely one of my most uncomfortable moments was standing up there during this fit. I was so confused because Shah is… or seems… so strong… and I didn’t know if these dramatics were an act or if she was truly, truly upset.

Then again, out of nowhere, someone is eliminated. AND IT’S BRIT. And Brit oh I love you but this one made a little more sense than the Aspen elimination.

Alexis and Jassmine are the challenge winners and they get to hype up the crowd for the All American Rejects. Or “The All American Rejects”?? I don’t know. Anyhow what the f–k am I wearing at this point? I swear I thought it looked cute at the time but I look cuckoo, dude. The girls both do a really great job. And this wasn’t really an easy task, as the stage is literally a body of water away from the crowd. It was really cool to see them up there, actually. And I can’t really even blame Jassmine for the lack of crowd excitement because, honestly, the crowd kind of sucked. I remember it being hard even when I went out there. But you know what solves that? FREE TEE SHIRTS. People go APES–T for free t-shirts. It’s like, in our DNA to go apes–t for t-shirts. It definitely helped Alexis out that Jassmine went first. She got to prepare more for how crappy an audience they were.

BUT WHOOOOOO WILL GO HOME NEXT WEEK!? Who the hell knows. Honestly, I can’t even remember myself, so I’ll be shocked right there with you.

SEE YOU THEN, homies!

Catch an all-new episode of Model Employee on Wednesday at 11/10 C.

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