Let's call a spade a spade. As a whole, Paris Hilton's music isn't that great — even by guilty pleasure pop standards. However, today is Hilton's birthday —she's 34! — and we're choosing to keep things positive. While the socialite's discography doesn't exactly scream Lady Gaga (or even Selena Gomez), she does have a few tracks that warrant repeated listening. And they sound even better if you're drunk.
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When it comes to Hilton's tunes, she succeeds best when she lays her wispy vocals on enveloping, electro-tinged beats. And while we can't condone Auto-Tune to mask lack of vocal ability, we admit the tool makes Hilton's songs more accessible and fun. Here are seven of her best efforts.
This twinkling, mid-tempo synth track buries Hilton's vocals in a sea of techno effects. The result is a truly good electro-pop banger that fits wonderfully on the dance floor and radio. Plus, the Lisa Frank-inspired music video is quite literally what dreams are made of. (C'mon, who wouldn't want to lounge on a cotton candy cloud?)
"Stars Are Blind"
Hilton's debut single is a breezy slice of bubblegum froth that just feels like summer. Her baby coos and cat-like come-ons have never felt more natural than on "Stars Are Blind." It's a sugary-sweet ride you'll want to take again.
"Turn It Up"
At first listen, "Turn It Up" sounds like a Britney Spears Blackout era reject. And, trust us, that's not bad at all. This sexy slow-burner grooves right into your soul with sweaty, panting verses and a breakout chorus. The only thing that would've made this better is if Hilton made it a duet with Spears.
"Nothing In This World"
Try listening to this song without dancing in your seat. You won't be able to, because it's damn good. "Nothing In This World" is the kind of infectious pop tune Kylie Minogue would kill to have on her next album. The chorus is so effervescent and care-free that you feel compelled to sing it at the top of your lungs. It's the perfect ending to a road trip soundtrack.
This pop-rock anthem was at the center of a heated ownership feud with Haylie Duff in 2004, and we understand why. The Avril Lavigne-esque romp keeps the intensity high (and tempo even higher). “Since I’m already screwed, here’s a message to you: My heart’s wide open," Hilton croons on this admittedly dated, angsty song. However, the throwback vibe of the track is what makes it so fun. Punk Paris!
"Turn You On"
"Turn You On" could have easily worked on Madonna's 2008 album Hard Candy, with its playful beats and R&B-influenced structure. "Girls and boys are looking at me. I can't blame them 'cause I'm sexy," Hilton exclaims with the kind of glee we typically reserve for pizza. The song definitely has bite.
"Not Leaving Without You"
This flirtatious tune sounds like a cross between Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up the Sun" and Lindsay Lohan's "Who Loves You?" The sing-songy track goes down smoothly and even incorporates some live instruments — a welcome change from Hilton's EDM-heavy catalog. There's a palpable warmth to this song that feels fresh alongside her array of cold disco fillers. We're definitely not leaving without mentioning this one.
What are your favorite Paris songs? Sound off in the comments below.