13 Things the Olsen Twins (and Michelle Tanner) Have Done That We'll Never Do

Let's just be real. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (who turn 29 today!) are national treasures, and if you disagree then you can just leave now. Whether in the form of Michelle Tanner on Full House (but not Fuller House, because the Olsens want nothing to do with that shiz) or one of their amazing world destination movies, the sisters have done so many things we'll never get to do in our sad, sad lives. Here are just 13 examples.

Kiss in an air duct.

Romantic.

Be a flawless cookie queen.

So wise.

Join the GD Witness Protection Program. (Well, knock on wood.)

Admit it: You secretly wanted to witness a crime after watching Our Lips Are Sealed.

Give legendary side-eye.

A pro even at this young age.

Simultaneously apply lipstick in perfect precision with another human.

HOW THE HELL CAN THEY DO THIS?

Have a grandfather who is randomly the U.S. Ambassador to France.

These girls have the best luck.

Pull off these outfits.

True fashion mavericks. (No, but actually.)

Get an iconic catchphrase.

Cannot handle the wittiness (or the cuteness).

Get a vintage Mustang convertible for your 16th birthday. (Or, better yet, any damn time of your life.)

~*FiRsT cAr.

Have a feud with Megan Fox over some random scrub.

So much sass.

Travel to Transylvania to solve a ghost mystery.

You know, just a casual day for a small child.

Eat cake like this and have people not judge you.

This is all we want to do on a Saturday night.

And, finally, have a wild chicken fight in a pool at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas (but still look glam AF).

So effortlessly chic.