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Life-Coaches, Kitty Cats And The 10 Softest Moments In Heavy Metal History

Heavy metal is about power. Sometimes heavy metal is about conflict. Often it is about anger, though other times it is about joy. The kind of joy one feels when they watch a bully get beaten up or the underdog team whip the pants off the favorites. It is hard stuff. Heavy metal is not about nice things. It is not about wholesome things (though it can be about values like strength, loyalty and perseverance). Heavy metal is not about kitty cats. Or is it…?

From power ballads to disco songs, plenty of hard rock and heavy metal warriors have slipped up and shown that there’s a big softie underneath the manes of hair and leather jackets. Metal musicians like Renaissance music, and analysis and seriously, who doesn’t love kitty cats? Only a big meanie that’s who! Check out the 10 softest moments in heavy metal history and find out who’s not as tough as they seem.

[caption id="attachment_313254" align="aligncenter" width="615"][Photo: Getty Images] [Photo: Getty Images][/caption]

10. Ritchie Blackmore Trades In His Strat For A Mandolin

Arguably metal’s first shredder, the tempestuous Deep Purple and Rainbow guitarist confused fans when he formed the Renaissance Fair-friendly band Blackmore’s Night with wife Candice Night. Gone were the Marshall stacks and six-string pyrotechnics, replaced by acoustic instruments, funny hats and songs about magic. Well, songs about magic could still be pretty metal. I guess.

[caption id="attachment_313253" align="aligncenter" width="615"][Photo: Getty Images] [Photo: Getty Images][/caption]8. Stryper

Now, we would never insult another person’s religious faith, but whether you’re a believer or an atheist, you have to admit the idea of "Christian metal" is a hard fit. And yeah, we know there are tons of Christian metal bands of every sub-genre you can imagine these days, but when Stryper came out, it just came off wack. And those bumblebee outfits? What the f***was that about?  And the teased hair? Look, there’s room for just about every type of freak, miscreant and weirdo in the heavy metal nation but sometimes you’ve got to draw a line somewhere. Just say no.

[caption id="attachment_313250" align="aligncenter" width="500"][Photo: Getty Images] [Photo: Getty Images][/caption]6. Ozzy Osbourne: America's Favorite TV Dad!

Long known as “The Prince Of F***ing Darkness” and singer of some of the greatest songs in the heavy metal cannon, fans didn’t know what to expect when it was announced Ozzy and family would be starring in a new MTV reality television show called The Osbournes. What they got was family entertainment as the former Black Sabbath singer showed he was just an everyday bumbling, lovable father figure at the mercy of his domineering wife and irascible kids. Sometimes it’s best if you don’t get to know your idols too well.

[caption id="attachment_313251" align="aligncenter" width="500"][Photo: Getty Images] [Photo: Getty Images][/caption]4. The Crüe Glams It Up

Fans majorly bummed when blood-spewing, drug gobblers Mötley Crüe traded in their chains and leathers for pink and purple spandex before the acrylic was dry on the Shout At The Devil pentagrams painted on their denim vests. 1985’s Theatre of Pain tried to re-brand the L.A. sleazebags as pretty boy glam rockers, replete with power ballads and novelty songs, but it didn’t stick and by the decade’s end the Crüe were back to their sleazy ways.   

[caption id="attachment_313256" align="aligncenter" width="615"][Photo: Getty Images] [Photo: Getty Images][/caption]2. Slayer Saves A Kitty

OK, as we just stated, cats are awesome. Cats are cute. We love cats. You know who else loves cats? Slayer, or as we prefer to call them, SLLAAAYYYYYEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!! On a recent tour stop, the evilest band on Earth apparently bought a sick kitty off a homeless man and nursed it back to health. Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that cute? WHAT THE UNHOLY CRAP ARE SLAYER DOING BEING SWEET AND CUTE? We’ll never look at them the same way again.