The S.S. Mark McGrath Will Not Set Sail This Year

Awful news, everyone. The long-awaited Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been cancelled. Pack up your bikinis and un-autographed copies of 14:59, no one's going on vacation this year.

Billboard writes that McGrath was turned off by "recent events" relating to boats, aka the "Poop Cruise" which caused hundreds of passengers to be stranded on a Carnival without running water...thus, toilets. It's all a damn shame, considering what was promised aboard the S.S. Fly:

How will we able to initiate a threesome with Steve Harwell and Ed Kowalczyk (formerly of Live) now?

Don't worry, there's always the Matchbox Twenty cruise:

I didn't Photoshop that.