'Fifty Shades of Black' Looks Foul, But Will Probs Still Be Better Than 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

A masterpiece in comparison, honestly.

As a Wayans family superstan, waiting for the spoof Fifty Shades of Black had my panties in a bunch tighter than Anastasia's... dignity. My future Fifty Shades of Black experience seemed super questionable, though, after watching the original trailer, and now that the red band trailer is out, I have even less hope. I can practically recite the Scary Movie franchise in my sleep, so why can't I find one joke in this new trailer funny??? Help me, somebody. Jesus? Channing/Elsa? Anybody?

As I'm sitting here, disappointed and eating Cheetos at 11 AM to distract myself from this trailer that was doing more than Kylie Jenner did on Instagram all year, I remember that this movie is spoofing an already-tragic pile of suspect material. Let's not forget that Fifty Shades of Grey sucked. There, I said it. Me and 4,589 critics and bloggers and fetuses who have yet to watch it. Not that you can compare the two, because they're completely different movies, but still. Fifty Shades of Black, as truly unfunny as it looks, could still have more potential than an awkard, non-sexy Fifty Shades of Grey, that had less sex scenes in it than an episode of Sesame Street.

Marlon Wayan's latest venture breaks my heart and kills my movie sex drive, but we fans are used to being letdown, unlike Anastasia, who miraculously orgasms every time.

Watch the red band trailer and let us know your thots in the comments section below.