• Season 5, Ep 11

Jackie Can't Deal With Her Son Growing Up

Jackie's son is ready for a transformation, he's ready to cut his hair. Jackie can't handle her youngest growing up before her eyes.

09/25/2016 · 3:49

Doug and Dougie are back in town, and I'm glad

because I feel like I'm losing touch with my baby.

Dougie's on Instagram.He's flirting with girls,

and I just need tosit down with him

and talk things through.

I just need to get a handleon this.

I'm excited, and I'm excitedabout all the fun stuff

you getting to do on the road.

- You know, it's really cool.

- You're 15.- Mm-hmm.

- You know what I mean?That's a big age,

and I know that I've kept youaway from girls

for a long time, and I don'tknow if that's something

that you're starting to thinkabout, is girls.

Like, I noticed

that you followed a couplepeople on Instagram.

They were pretty.

They were really cute girls,so I'm just saying,

is your intereststarting to be that?

'Cause you've always said

basketball was your girlfriend.

- And now I'm uncomfortable.

- Why are you uncomfortable?

- 'Cause this is uncomfortable.

- I really don't like the fact

that he's on all these social media platforms.

Girls are joking with him. They're calling him ho,

and I don't knowif that's normal,

but it bothers me.

I know dad's hadthe conversation with you.

- Yeah, he's talked to meabout girls.

- What did he say?

- He just, like,went into detail,

'cause, you know,Dad's very to the point.

- Oh, Lord Jesus.

- And he just explains to youwhat's up.

- Have you everkissed a girl?

- See, you asking meall these questions.

- No, Dougie,because I need to know,

and if you did, just say yes,

and you don't have togo into who she is.

I just need her phone numberlaid on the table,

and that's it.- Um...

What's for dinner tonight?

- I am going to freak out

when Dougie has his first kiss.

I don't want anyoneto kiss him.

I want his wifeto kiss him someday

around when he's 30,maybe 32 years old.

I'm not--I--no.

Dougie, I just don'twant females to start

controlling things about you.

"Oh, Dougie, well, you're notcool 'cause you're not

wearing this, and your mom,she's a nag, and blah, blah."

Don't listen to any of that.

If they want to talk to youabout personal things,

tell them your mom would loveto have whatever conversation

that they would like to have.- Okay.

Okay, now you're--- No, seriously,

because you might not tell them

in the way they need to be told,

but I will.- You going off the deep end.

- I won't go offthe deep end, Dougie.

I will--I will be very nice.- Come on. Come on.

- Dougie feels thatwhen he gets a girlfriend,

I'm gonna poison her food,and he's probably right,

but I won't poison her food withnothing that'll really hurt her.

It'll just kind of make her geta little wheezy in the stomach.

She won't want tocome around him anymore.

If you're dating,I want to know the girl.

Are you interested?- Of course, yeah.

- Okay, see, I can't help butthink that maybe that's kind of

making you wantto cut your hair.

Dougie's hair is long.It's almost to his elbows.

He's never had his hair cut,

but now he's told me that he wants to cut it,

and I can't believe it.

We're battling about that.

I grew it out on purpose since he's been a baby.

Everyone knows him by his hair.

When he runsdown the basketball court,

his hair is just flowing,and when he grows up,

it will be flowing like,you know, Joqueen Anoah

or whatever his name is.

Now girlscome into the equation.

Now you want to cut your hair?

- Ever since I was eight,I thought about it.

- What if I was to offer youthree things--

you can pick them--and I'll get them for you,

and you don't cut it?- No.

- And you won't cut ittill you're 18

like you promised mewhen you were little.

- Nope, nope.- But, Dougie--

- I can't do it.

Nothing's more important

than experiencing something

I've been wanting to do,

and I thinkit'll be really nice, so...

So, like, taking a showerand not having to worry about it

getting all mattedor being able to leave later

'cause I don't have to goget my hair braided.

- What if I permed it,and that way it won't mat up

no more in the shower?- That just sounds ridiculous.

You know how badthat's probably gonna hurt?

- It won't hurt 'cause I'll usethe kind with no lye in it

that won't burn.

Dougie, it's scary for me.

I know you're 15.You're growing up,

and I'm trying to staystrong about it

'cause I know you hatewhen I get sentimental,

but I don't know if I couldhandle you cutting your hair.

That's gonna bea big deal for me.